I consider my personal suffering a blessing because, from it, I learned the Tathagata Buddha Dharma

I consider my personal suffering a blessing because, from it, I learned the Tathagata Buddha Dharma

My life journey has been accompanied by a multitude of disasters and suffering. Even though I protested and complained, I could never find the answer to why I had to endure so much. At the same time, I felt lost and was at a loss as to what my life path should be.

Perhaps, because I had suffered so much, the compassionate Buddhas and Bodhisattvas provided an opportunity for me to finally listen to the dharma discourse “Do you Truly Believe in Cause and Effect,” expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III. From the unfathomable expanse of the universe to a minor thought rising from our consciousness, the law of cause and effect never errs. It became clear to me; all my trials and tribulations, from birth, were of my own doing since time immemorial.

I was born in a rural village to parents who did not receive much education. I was the second child and, because I was short, was nicknamed “the little one.”

One day, at the age of one, my parents had to work in the mountains, so they left me alone in the house. When I woke up, I climbed onto a table and knocked over a lantern, which fell onto my bed. The bed immediately caught fire as the whole house quickly filled with dense smoke. Our neighbor saved me from the fire just in the nick of time.

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When I was three years old, I fell from the 3rd floor and struck my forehead on a rock just missing my eye. There was no surgeon to sew up my injury. Consequently, a deep scar would forever remain on my forehead. Later, for unknown reasons, I dislocated my shoulder and fractured a bone. At the time, the neighbors speculated that I would not remain in this world much longer. Not only were boys heavily favored over girls, but I was born in the year of the tiger. My family thought I would bring bad luck upon them. If not for my mother’s love and insistence, my grandfather would have given me away.

Later on, due to economic hardship, my parents travelled extensively to make a living for the family. I remained behind, in the care of relatives and neighbors, alternating from home to home.

I started to look after myself when I was only eight years old. I raised rabbits, a hen, and a pig. Finally, my grandfather took me in when I entered the third grade of grammar school. As young as I was at that time, I often wondered what was the purpose of living? Was there any purpose to life? To me, life felt like nothing more than chewing on bitter grass and swallowing acrid and nauseating liquid. I thought about gulping down pesticides to end my life, thinking there would be no more suffering after death.

Perhaps the benevolent Buddhas and Bodhisattvas instilled a reason for me not to take my own life – I would break my mother’s heart. I could not bear the thought of my mother suffering so much for my actions…

So I did not take my own life, but misery seemed to enjoy my company. How could my misfortunes not be attributed to retribution for past transgressions? My suffering had nothing to do with unfairness or fate, but as the direct result of my past actions motivated by greed, hatred, and ignorance. The laws of cause and effect require there be no diminishment to retribution.

Through respectfully listening to dharma discourses expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III , I finally realized that suffering was not imposed upon me by accident, but the unavoidable retribution of my past transgressions. The only way to steer clear of suffering and disaster is to undertake all righteous actions, regardless how minor, and avoid wrongdoing, no matter how minuscule. From the bottom of my heart, I repented all of my past wrongdoings and began facing every misfortune without fear. Life is but a dream; good fortune and suffering are equal in many ways, but for me, suffering carries even greater significance. It’s imperative to face the consequences of one’s own actions. Now, I am able to face them from a very different mindset. Suffering was the genesis that led me to understand why I need to learn Buddhism. From the teachings of the Buddhas, we discover the purpose and true meaning of life. To eliminate greed, hatred, ignorance, pleasure-seeking, happiness, anger, sadness, and joy; to let go of our egos; to guide and encourage more people to do all that is good and avoid committing wrongdoings. We shall follow the great teachings of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III to transcend from this mundane and afflicted world to reach true liberation and enlightenment!