When I Am Strong Enough Inside
Virginia Satir (1916–1988) was a trailblazer in the field of family therapy, earning worldwide recognition as a distinguished psychotherapist and one of America’s most influential family therapists. Dubbed “everybody’s family therapist” by Human Behavior magazine, Satir devoted her life to uncovering the complexities of human relationships and exploring the essence of what it means to be human. Her groundbreaking principles for fostering effective family communication continue to be revered and applied by professionals across the globe.
Satir’s legacy extends beyond therapy rooms. Her poetic insights capture the depth of her understanding of human nature and emotions. One of her most touching poems, “When I Am Strong Enough Inside,” serves as a mirror reflecting our inner strength and vulnerability. These verses remind us that the negative voices within us can often overshadow our resilience. However, by engaging with empowering words like hers, we can nurture psychological flexibility and cultivate a more compassionate perspective toward ourselves and others. Here is an excerpt from her poem that encapsulates her profound messag.
When I Am Strong Enough Inside
When I’m strong enough inside,
You blame me,
I feel your pain;
You flatter me,
I see you need approval;
You’re crazy,
I understand your vulnerability and fear;
You interrupt,
I know how much you want to be seen.
When I’m strong enough inside,
I no longer defend,
All the forces,
Free flow between us.
Grievance, depression, guilt, sadness, anger, pain,
When they flow freely.
I feel warm in sorrow,
Find strength in anger,
See hope in pain.
When I’m strong enough inside,
I will not attack.
I know,
When I stop hurting myself,
Then no one can hurt me.
I lay down my arms,
Open heart,
When my heart softens,
In love and compassion,
Meet you bright and warm.
Originally, let the heart strong,
All I need is,
Seeing myself,
Accept what I can’t do,
Appreciate what I’ve done.
And believe,
Through this journey,
Can live out their own, bloom their own.
In these lines, Satir masterfully conveys her belief in the transformative power of understanding the reasons behind others’ actions. Instead of reacting with judgment, she calls on us to see the humanity in others, even when their behavior is challenging.
Her poem continues with a heartfelt reminder that by releasing our own emotions—be it anger, sadness, or guilt—we can uncover strength, warmth, and hope. She encourages us to let go of self-defensiveness, to embrace compassion, and to see ourselves and others with clarity and acceptance.
When I encountered this poem, I was struck by Satir’s tender view of humanity. It eloquently sheds light on behaviors we often judge harshly—blaming, seeking approval, over-rationalizing, or interrupting. Yet, rather than condemning these actions, she invites us to see the vulnerability and pain behind them. This perspective challenged me to think: if my heart were stronger, if I could move beyond my own wounds, perhaps I too could approach the world with such gentle understanding.
Satir’s poem inspires a transformative journey of self-awareness and growth. To build inner strength, she suggests we:
- See ourselves as we truly are, without judgment.
- Accept our imperfections with kindness.
- Appreciate our progress and achievements.
- Trust in our ability to live authentically and bloom fully.
Her words serve as both a reminder and an invitation—to embrace our humanity, nurture our resilience, and extend the same understanding to others.
Even today, Virginia Satir’s work continues to inspire people to heal, connect, and thrive. Through her profound poetry and her legacy as a master therapist, she reminds us that inner strength and compassion are at the heart of meaningful relationships and a fulfilling life.
Peace LiLy 