Step Toward Inner Peace

Step Toward Inner Peace

Peace Pilgrim

About 20 years ago, I participated in a retreat that focused on organic farming, nutrition, and spirituality, at Santa Barbara CA. While much of what I learned during the retreat has since slipped from my memory, one aspect of the experience has remained with me: my encounter with the beautiful soul known as Peace Pilgrim.

I never had the opportunity to meet Peace Pilgrim in person, but I was deeply moved by her book, “Peace Pilgrim: Step toward Inner Peace,” which I read in Chinese. I couldn’t believe that such an amazing and spiritual person existed. Peace Pilgrim’s journey across America to spread the message of peace, with nothing but the clothes on her back, was truly inspiring. The book left a lasting impression on me, and it actually started my spiritual journey.

Peace Pilgrim, born Mildred Lisette Norman, was a spiritual teacher and peace activist who walked across America several times in the 1950s and 1960s to spread the message of peace. She traveled on foot, carrying only a few possessions and wearing a tunic with the words “Peace Pilgrim” written on it.

During her journey, Peace Pilgrim spoke to thousands of people about the importance of inner peace and the role it plays in creating a more peaceful world. She believed that true peace could only be achieved when individuals found inner peace within themselves, and that this inner peace would radiate outwards to create a more peaceful society.

Peace Pilgrim’s message resonated with many people, and her simple, yet powerful words inspired many to work towards peace in their own lives and in the world. She wrote several books, including “Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Work in Her Own Words,” which chronicled her journey and the lessons she learned along the way.

In a time of great turmoil and uncertainty, the message of Peace Pilgrim is more relevant than ever. Her teachings remind us that true peace begins within, and that each of us has the power to make a difference in the world by finding inner peace and living a life of compassion and kindness. Her spirit and teachings continue to inspire and guide many people, and her message of peace will continue to resonate for years to come.

In this pandemic and tough time, her message of inner peace could be a guiding light for many people. World will have true peace until each one of us find our inner peace. Her teachings and stories are an inspiration for all of us to work on peace for the whole world. May her spirit and teachings continue to guide and inspire us all to work towards a more peaceful world.

Read the full article Step Toward Inner Peace here: https://peacelily603666031.files.wordpress.com/2023/01/7fd2a-steps.pdf

Step Toward Inner Peace

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2023/01/19/step-toward-inner-peace/

#StepTowardInnerPeace #PeacePilgrim#Spiritually#Peace

Facing the Truth: Life is Difficult

Facing the Truth: Life is Difficult

Recently, my two college-aged sons have been expressing that they find life to be difficult. In an effort to provide them with guidance and support, I have been offering them spiritual advice and emotional support. While searching for resources to assist in this endeavor, I stumbled upon the profound and enlightening book, The Road Less Traveled, by Scott Peck. The insights and philosophy presented within the book have been incredibly inspiring and beneficial in helping me to support my sons in their journey.

The Road Less Traveled is a self-help book by American psychiatrist and author Scott Peck, first published in 1978. The book has had a significant impact, selling millions of copies and remaining on the New York Times bestseller list for more than ten years. One of the main themes of the book is the concept of the four disciplines: psychiatry, psychology, religion, and philosophy. Each discipline offers unique perspectives on how to navigate the challenges of life and achieve personal growth.

The book’s central message is that life is difficult, but that this difficulty can be transcended by understanding and accepting it. Peck argues that discipline is the basic tool we need to solve life’s problems, and that with enough discipline we can solve all problems. Additionally, the book explores themes of love, relationships, parenting, and self-discovery, as well as teaching about distinguishing dependency from love and how to become one’s true self.

Life is a series of problems. It is something that we all must face and deal with on a daily basis. Some of these problems may be small and easily solved, while others may be more complex and difficult to overcome. The question we must ask ourselves is: do we want to moan about these problems or do we want to solve them?

As adults, we have the power to choose how we react to life’s problems. We can choose to bemoan our difficulties and wallow in our troubles, or we can choose to take action and find solutions. The latter approach is far more productive and will ultimately lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment in life.

In addition to making this choice for ourselves, it is also important to teach our children to solve problems in a similar manner. As parents, we have a responsibility to guide and teach our children, helping them to develop the skills and mindset needed to overcome the challenges that life will inevitably present to them.

One of the most important tools we have for solving life’s problems is discipline. Without discipline, we will not be able to effectively tackle the issues that we face. With only some discipline, we may be able to solve only some problems, but with total discipline, we can solve all problems. Discipline is the key to success in any endeavor. It allows us to focus our minds and efforts, to set goals and make plans, and to persist in the face of adversity.

It is important to note that problems do not go away on their own. They must be worked through and dealt with, otherwise they will remain forever, acting as a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit. It is essential that we learn to face and overcome problems, rather than avoiding or ignoring them.

One way to do this is by learning to Delay Gratification. By scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in a way that we deal with pain first and get it over with, it allows us to enhance the pleasure we gain from it. This is the only decent way to live. With discipline, we can solve most of the problems, and delay gratification is a process that can help us to get through the most difficult moments.

Peck also emphasizes the importance of Love and Community in personal growth. He argues that true love is not just an emotional state, but also an action, and that it requires a commitment to growth and self-discipline. He also stresses the importance of community, stating that “the love of community is the only true love.”

I have also found out in Buddhism, love has a deeper meaning that goes beyond romantic or familial feelings. It encompasses compassion and the belief in treating all beings as if they were our own relatives or parents. In What is Cultivation by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, says: “Loving-kindness: At all times, through the actions of my three karmas, I am loving and kind toward all living beings, who have been my parents. I wish them a long life without illness, good fortune, good luck, and a happy life. ” This means that at all times, through all our actions, thoughts, and words, we should strive to be loving and kind towards all living beings, recognizing that they have been our parents in past lives. This belief is expressed through the wish for all beings to have a long life free from illness, good fortune, good luck, and happiness. This unconditional love can have a positive impact on individuals who are facing challenges and difficulties in their lives.

Everyone must face and deal with the challenges and difficulties in life. Moaning about them or solving them, it’s a choice we make, and the latter can lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Teaching our children to solve problems in a similar manner and helping them to develop the discipline and tools needed, that could be in religions or philosophy or psychology, to succeed in life is an essential responsibility of parenthood.

Facing the Truth: Life is Difficult

Link: http://What is Cultivation by H.H.Dorje Chang Buddha III

#TheRoadLessTraveled#ScottPeck#Discipline#Love#Compassion#Philosophy#DelayGratification#Religions#Phsycology#Truth#Discipline#WhatisCultivation #H.H.DorjeChangBuddhaIII

The Power of Miracles (Full Episode in National Geographic)

The Story of God with Morgan Freeman

In the National Geographic channel’s “The Power of Miracles” episode of “The Story of God with Morgan Freeman,” Freeman delves into the concept of miracles and the role they play in different cultures and religions around the world. Throughout the episode, Freeman explores the various stories and accounts of miracles that have been passed down through traditional cultures and religions. These stories often involve healing, protection, and other seemingly miraculous events.

One of the main focuses of the episode is the stories of miracle in Christianity. Freeman visits the site of a Catholic pilgrimage in Lourdes, France, where thousands of people travel each year to pray for healing. Freeman also visits the site of a Marian apparition in Medjugorje, Bosnia, where six children reported seeing the Virgin Mary in 1981. Freeman also meets with people who believe they were healed as a result of the apparition, which is still ongoing. Freeman also explores other religion’s records of miracles like the Jewish Kabbalah, and the Islamic Hadith.

While some people may be skeptical of these stories, Freeman makes it clear that they hold great significance for the people who believe in them. For many, these stories of miracles provide hope, inspiration, and a sense of connection to something greater than themselves. Freeman ultimately concludes that miracles are about the power of belief, and that the belief in something larger than ourselves can have a profound impact on our lives.

Watching this episode is a miracle for me. I explored so many beautiful places, cultures and religions. It’s a must watch for people with an interest in the intersection of faith and science, and in the power of belief to shape our lives.

The Story of God with Morgan Freeman

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2023/01/11/the-power-of-miracles-full-episode-in-national-geographic/

#Miracle#MorganFreeman#NationalGeographicchannel#PowerofMiracles#Religions#Cultures#Christianity#Church#JewishKabbalah#Islamic Hadith #Healing#Belief

New Year’s Resolutions for a Healthy, Happy Life

New Year’s Resolutions for a Healthy, Happy Life

New Year’s resolutions have long been a way to take stock of what’s truly important in our lives, allowing us to pause and reflect on the year behind us, as well as plan for the year ahead. If living through a global pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we shouldn’t take health and wellness for granted. In 2023, improving your body, mind and soul is a great way to organize your long-term goals for the new year.

Focusing on your health and well-being doesn’t have to translate to starting a new diet or workout plan, though. You can set your sights on taking charge of your mental health, finally optimizing a better sleep routine or diving headfirst into reclaiming your space (wave goodbye to messy closets and  disastrous bathrooms).

Your resolutions don’t have to be big, instead of workout everyday for two hours you could just set a goal like walking 15 minutes a day. Doing small things persistently, will bring big changes.

Keep your new resolutions by using a planner to help you stay on track, checking off daily fitness goals  and tackling frequent decluttering tasks. This year, it’s time to put you first!

Here are some ideas to help you to kick off the year with a stronger, well-nourished body and an enriched mind.

Do some low intensity breath focusing exercise

Each week, try to do 15 to 30 minutes of slow and mind focusing exercise, such as Yoga or Tai chi. Tai chi is an ancient Chinese tradition that, today, is practiced as a graceful form of exercise. It involves a series of movements performed in a slow, focused manner and accompanied by deep breathing.

Yoga is also a mind and body practice. Yoga combines physical postures, breathing techniques, and meditation or relaxation. Yoga involves movement, meditation, and breathing techniques to promote mental and physical well-being. According to the National Institutes of Health, scientific evidence shows that yoga supports stress management, mental health, mindfulness, healthy eating, weight loss and quality sleep.

Do a short prayer

Each night, before you go to bed, do a short prayer. Praying can reduce anxiety and promote relaxation, gratitude, and thankfulness. In less than 3 minutes, you can express your gratitude to your body, your family, your friends, society, and your country. In this quiet time remind yourself to admire others, to accept others, to be attentive of others, and to forgive others. Wish for everyone to have a happy, healthy and auspicious life, wish for peace and harmony of the world, and wish that tomorrow will be better.

Build a better budget

If there’s one New Year’s resolution that will help you the most in the long run, it’s making a vow to save more money.

Before you head back to the office in January, outline a rough budget that works for you — and make a plan for how you’ll stick to it. Budgeting apps can help you do this as painlessly as possible. And supercharge your shopping habits by rethinking when and how you buy things for your home and family; often, there are savings you’re leaving on the table.

Photo from pexels.com

Practice mindfulness

Anxiety can nag at anyone during any season, in all parts of life — and it can be easy to let the idea of the future or past experiences inform your reality of the present. Practicing mindfulness means doing everything you can to be grateful for what you have in the moment, where you are in life, and who you are right now. Some leading psychological experts say committing to mindfulness can help you become a better person in less than a year’s time.

Read more books

January is the perfect time of year to snuggle up with a new book. Some of us like to unwind with a great fiction book that transports us to places we’ve never been, into lives that differ from our own. Others love the shiver that goes up your spine when you crack open a creepy ghost story that makes you think twice before turning off the light to go to bed. And who among us can resist a juicy romance novel that reminds us that chivalry isn’t dead? Of course, the best nonfiction books can also open our eyes to lived experiences far beyond our own perspective. Needless to say: books can change lives, whether they’re intended to be inspirational or just come to us at the moment we need them most.

Commit to a healthier sleep routine.

best new year's resolution ideas  fix your sleep routine

So many issues can be traced back to a poor night’s sleep. And yet, there is so much more that we can aim to improve beyond a reasonable bedtime. Creating a plan to improve your sleep hygiene — the habits you maintain to get good sleep every night — may look different for everyone, as it depends on when you need to be active and working throughout the day. Your brain actually relies on cues to regulate your internal circadian rhythm, and the choices you make throughout the day can interfere with these. Start taking charge of your sleep by mastering these 10 to-dos as the year progresses.

ANNA BLAZHUKGETTY IMAGES

Volunteer regularly.

Research shows that pitching in regularly can lead to less stress and lower blood pressure. Try to schedule an outreach mission of your own on a day of service; many recognize Martin Luther King Day as a prime opportunity, or even Veteran’s Day in November. So use this day to jumpstart a longer-term personal commitment — and consider working on this goal with loved ones all year round.

SOUTH_AGENCYGETTY IMAGES

ny resolutions

Explore new hobbies.

paint palette
Getty Images

Another sleepy Sunday? Today’s the day you try Ethiopian food, attend a ballet, or take a painting class — whatever feels fun. When researchers followed 7,500 people for 25 years, they found that those who complained of major boredom were roughly twice as likely to die from heart disease.

Start walking more

Even if you can’t keep track of a new fitness routine, keeping yourself moving on a simple walk around the neighborhood is a must. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services maintains that adults should spend as much time moving each day as possible — and some physical activity (even just walking!) is better than none.

Do one thing at a time.

Multitasking doesn’t make you more efficient, but it does stress you out, says mindfulness expert Pedram Shojai, author of Focus: Bringing Time, Energy, and Money Into Flow“If your focus is fragmented, you’ll likely find yourself getting anxious as new items come up when old ones are still incomplete,” he says.

Instead, he suggests, organize your activities into chunks of time, such as kid time and cooking time, and then “commit to being focused in those allotted minutes and see what happens.” It’ll help stop you from overthinking everything.

Getty Images

to do list

Give yourself more compliments.

compliment
Getty Images

Repeat after us: “Today is my day. I’m thankful for me.” Positive self-talk can help you focus on what’s good in your life, says psychologist Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D.

Research shows that a little vitamin G (for gratitude) can make you feel happier and more satisfied and even improve your sleep. “If you repeat an affirmation related to gratitude in the morning, you’re likely to show and feel more of it throughout that day,” Bradford says. You’re so welcome!

Head outside without your phone

In a previous GH survey, 83% of people told us they lost track of how long they spent on their devices. But short of deleting all social apps, it can be hard to trade screen time for more productive pastimes like walking the dog and coffee with friends. Whether you’re Team iPhone or Team Android, download the latest software to access built-in tools that help you track your personal app usage. Set screen downtime is also very helpful to remind you need to stop.

Add more citrus to your grocery cart.

When you see all those gorgeous in-season grapefruits, oranges, clementines, and pomelos in the produce aisle, grab an armful.

Winter citrus can help keep skin looking healthy thanks to vitamin C, which aids in collagen production. In fact, an American Journal of Clinical Nutrition study found that people who ate foods high in C had fewer wrinkles and less age-related dry skin than those who didn’t. Try clementine sections sprinkled with pistachios or sweet grapefruit dipped in Greek yogurt for a snack.

Getty Images

achievable new year's resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions for a Healthy, Happy Life

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2023/01/05/new-years-resolutions-for-a-healthy-happy-life/

Source: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/wellness/advice/g985/achievable-new-year-resolutions/. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/g38322638/life-changing-books/

Patience Helps Us Slow Down When Things Speed Up

Patience Helps Us Slow Down When Things Speed Up

By Sophie Caldecott

I recently realized that I live most of my waking hours in a state of perpetual striving. There’s a nagging voice at the back of my mind constantly adding new items to my to-do list. My phone is littered with notes made at odd times of the day and night, reminding me to email this person, pitch that idea, edit my website, write this blog post, make a healthier meal plan, and complete a complicated DIY craft project with my kids. 

The lists spill out over the pages of my notebooks and diary, onto sticky notes and scraps of paper in my purse. The to-do list is an ever-evolving beast that is never satisfied, and leaves me feeling impatient, frustrated, and restless. Can you relate?

Overstimulation sets us up for failure

We crave peace — to be fully present in the here and now; to soak it all up; to be grateful for all that we have. But our minds constantly skip ahead to the next task. We barely notice when we reach or surpass one goal because we’re so focused on what we haven’t achieved yet.  

We live in an unnaturally fast-paced culture, with a 24/7 digital connection to the rest of the world. With all the noise that surrounds us, we feel pressure to cram as much into our schedules and brains as possible. 

One of the many consequences of this overstimulation can be that we end up holding ourselves to impossible standards and get impatient with our limitations and seemingly “slow” progress. There are so many things we could do, and we’re more aware of all our options and potential than ever. It can be hard to remember how impossible it would be to actually do it all.

Patience can unlock productivity and open the door to growth

Research shows multitasking damages our productivity and can negatively impact the way our brains process information. We know that rest is essential for our well-being and creativity. The benefits of disconnecting from our tech and making an intentional choice to slow down our lives are more and more widely discussed. 

I’ve found in my own life, however, that understanding the benefits and actually internalizing those beliefs are two different things. One of the trickiest aspects of choosing to unplug and slow down is to tune out that frantic, impatient voice telling us that we’re not achieving enough fast enough. So what’s the solution?

Patience is the antidote to this sense of restless striving — especially learning to have patience with ourselves. Here are a few ideas to help you cultivate this in your own life. 

Tips for cultivating patience

1. Understand that your energy will ebb and flow

Despite what our post-Industrial Revolution capitalist society would like us to think, we’re not machines, and our bodies have more in common with the natural world and the seasons than our constantly switched-on devices. Research shows that our brains rarely work well for long uninterrupted stretches of time, and, as Inc. put it, “An 8-hour workday only makes sense if you’re screwing in widgets on an assembly line.”

You’re probably already aware of your favorite time of day, and have a sense of whether you work better in the morning, afternoon, or evening. This applies to the seasons, as well — your productivity and whether or not you’re feeling at your best, in general, can be hugely influenced by other factors like your hormonal cycle, your health, and whatever is going on in your life at that particular time.

Remembering you’re not a machine and that your mood, abilities, and needs will be constantly shifting and changing can help you become more patient with yourself. 

2. Grow in self-awareness

In their online course, A Seasonal Year, Maddy Lawson and Eleanor Cheetham suggest mapping out the year to find where your energy is naturally highest and where it’s lowest. Think about what kind of work fills you up, and what kind of work leaves you feeling more drained. Consider which seasons find you scribbling down new ideas like there’s no tomorrow, and which ones make you feel like hunkering down and staying firmly in your comfort zone.

Once you’ve learned to recognize your own patterns, you’ll be better placed to think creatively about how you can work with your tendencies, rather than against them. We don’t always have a choice about how much work we have on our plates or how we spend our days, but we usually have at least a little more choice than we think we do. And growing in self-awareness is the first step toward becoming more patient with yourself.

On my own journey towards self-awareness, for example, I’ve learned that my energy tends to be the lowest in the winter. So now I can prepare myself to be less ambitious and more patient with myself during that particular season.

3. Stay curious about your roadblocks

Nir Eyal, the author of Indistractable, encourages us to watch out for the moments when we start to procrastinate and question why we’re putting something off. He points out that there’s always a deeper emotion underneath the instinct to procrastinate — whether that’s fear of failing, not knowing how to do something, weariness and feeling too burnt out to engage with it, or just plain boredom. 

When you cultivate a habit of observing the things that trip you up — that hold you back from making the progress you’d like to make without judgment — you can have more empathy for yourself instead of beating yourself up or calling yourself lazy. Keep in mind, though, that this isn’t about making excuses or trying to get out of doing the necessary work. When you can say, “That’s interesting, I’m trying to put off doing this thing because I’m really tired right now,” it’s easier to be patient with yourself. This allows you to find potential solutions — like rearranging your schedule in order to tackle a task later on with renewed focus and energy — rather than just getting frustrated with yourself.

4. Notice, celebrate, and cultivate gratitude for the good

I’m guilty of not taking the time to reflect on — or celebrate — the good things in my life. I recently achieved a dream I’d been harboring for years, and after about five minutes of feeling excited and happy about it, I went back to worrying about the next thing. This experience helped me realize that patience is a habit — a mindset that we have to cultivate — and that it’s intimately linked with gratitude.

It can feel kind of corny or egotistical to stop and pat yourself on the back when something goes well or you handle something in a way that you’re proud of, but as I get older I’m realizing how important it is to celebrate the small victories. Regularly refocusing on the bigger picture can help you see how far you’ve come, have a deeper sense of gratitude for where you’re at, and make peace with the time it takes to get anywhere good.  

Patience is a virtue

Ultimately, having patience with ourselves helps us to develop deeper patience for others, and it all starts with understanding ourselves better. These tips will help you to self-assess, put patience into practice, and reap the benefits of increased self-awareness and productivity throughout your life. It might seem counterintuitive, but when things speed up, we should slow down — and watch the wonderful results that patience provides. 

Patience Helps Us Slow Down When Things Speed Up

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2022/12/28/patience-helps-us-slow-down-when-things-speed-up/

#Patience#Cultivate#Self-assess#Self-awareness

Source: https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/how-to-be-patient-with-yourself-tips/

Why are holidays so hard? A Guide for Coping

Photo by Irina Iriser on Pexels.com

Why are holidays so hard? A Guide for Coping

By: Rochelle Perper, Ph.D. | November 25, 2022

If the holidays don’t feel like the often quoted ‘most wonderful time of the year,’ you aren’t alone in that feeling. At an early age, we learn that the holidays are times for festivity, a time for the entire family to come together in perfect joy. Social media shows idyllic images of beautiful families together, flawlessly cultivated dinner tables, and impeccably wrapped gifts that make us believe this is what the holidays should look like.

When the expectation of a joyful and peaceful holiday season doesn’t match the reality of our experiences, we feel disappointed and sorrowful.

For many, the holidays are a dreaded, painful time of year. The days are shorter, the nights are colder, and when you add financial burden, travel, or visits with sometimes difficult family members to the mix, the stress piles up quickly. The holidays constitute a special difficulty for those who have lost friends or family members, and for those having experienced significant change or trauma in their lives.

The following describes some common holiday stressors and guidance for coping:

Stressor: Pressure for the “perfect” holiday gathering

The holidays are certainly a busy time of year! We shop, cook, bake, attend parties, wrap gifts, prepare meals, decorate, make plans, travel, connect with friends, and all while we try to find some time for ourselves. It’s exhausting! Attempting to do it all is not only impractical, but it also takes a toll on our mental and emotional health.

How to Cope:

Focus on what really matters

Reflect on what is most important to you, then align your activities and actions with this value. For example, you may value making meaningful connections. If you spend most of the evening preparing the perfect meal while missing out on time spent with family and friends, then perfect meal prep does not align with your values. Remember: the holidays don’t have to be perfect or look a certain way to be memorable and special.

Set realistic expectations

As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. For example, adult children or other relatives may not be able to gather when you want them to, or there isn’t a budget for top-end gifts on your kid’s wish-list. Make sure your expectations are realistic. For example, if you expect too much from yourself or someone else, brainstorm what you can give up aligning the reality of the situation to what you expect the holidays to look like.

Be gentle with yourself

You are human, and there’s only so much you can do each day or a given holiday. Respond to your human limits by setting boundaries and finding ways to Have the Courage to Say No. Learn How to Be Gentle with Yourself and How to Practice Self-Compassion. Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions may arise during this stressful and sometimes difficult time of year.

Stressor: Anxiety about family gatherings

For some, family gatherings result in an enjoyable time. For many, family gatherings provoke only stress and anxiety. You may feel self-conscious or feel pressured to keep up the conversation. You may dread the inevitable fights or need help Surviving the Holidays with a Narcissistic Family Member.

How to Cope:

Set boundaries

Although you may feel pressured to attend a holiday party or gathering, check-in first with your wants and needs to identify your readiness. If you decide to attend, remind yourself that you don’t have to stay the entire time. Read How to Deal with Your (difficult) Family this Holiday Season for more boundary-setting tips.

Be prepared

Anticipate challenging circumstances, people, or situations and develop a plan to manage the difficult emotions that may arise. You may find it tempting to “numb out” with alcohol but opt instead to challenge yourself to stay present, even in the presence of negative emotions. Plan ahead by getting a good night’s rest, staying sober, and identifying your coping strategies (like taking a walk, deep breathing, or affirmations). Have an exit strategy. It will help make your experience more enjoyable.

Assume good intent

Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they have different views and opinions. Set aside grievances for a more appropriate time for discussion. Show understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry; they likely feel the effects of holiday stress too. Be proactive in preventing and resolving conflicts and pay attention to your internal cues that suggest you risk losing your cool. Stay calm and take a breath before you speak. Prepare a rehearsed statement that you can use such as “let’s put a hold on this for another time.”

Stressor: Grieving a loss

The holiday season may look different this year because of the changes that took place over the past few years. This may mean foregoing parties, visits with family and friends, and participating in community activities and celebrations. We face the difficult task of readjusting our expectations for the holidays, which means Grieving the Loss of the Holidays as we know it. If you have lost a loved one or will be missing someone’s presence during the festivities, you are likely to feel this grief more intensely.

How to Cope:

Make plans and get the support you need

Give yourself the permission to develop new holiday rituals and traditions. Ask what traditions comfort you and allow yourself to participate in whatever feels right to you, or not. Share your plans with family and friends ahead of time and inform them what is helpful, and what is not helpful. Avoid the circumstances that you don’t feel ready to handle, but don’t isolate yourself. Make time for quiet reflection and grieving but balance it with activities with loved ones who accept and love you amidst your sorrow. And remember it is okay to accept offers from others to cook, shop, or decorate!

Allow yourself to grieve

There is no one “right” way to grieve, and no correct timeline. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, whether that’s joy or sadness, anger, or relief. Experiencing joy and laughter during the holidays honors the person who died and does not mean that you have forgotten them. Be gentle with yourself and others while recognizing that each family member may stand at a different stage of healing than you.

Honor your loved one

It may comfort you to incorporate a new tradition or ritual that honors the person who died. For example: create a memory box filled with photos or love notes from family members and friends, light a candle, say a prayer, or share a memory, write a poem, play your loved one’s favorite music or game, invite a moment of silence or toast at mealtime, make a donation or volunteer for a cause that your loved one found meaningful. Read Coping with Loss During the Holidays for more suggestions and inspiration for healing.

Stressor: The physical toll of stress

Stress affects all systems of the body including physical, mental, and emotional. When we encounter increased stress around the holidays, we notice its effects even more. For example, stress can make you more susceptible to illness, cause headaches, disrupt sleep, or contribute to feeling depressed or anxious.

How to Cope:

Increase self-care

Protect your health by prioritizing activities that reduce stress and help you recharge. It is not selfish to spend time on yourself with mindfulness meditation, yoga, spending time with friends or family, taking a bath or watching a movie. If you feel especially overwhelmed, focus on the basics: proper nutrition, healthy movement, and good sleep hygiene. Read Mindfulness for Holiday Stress to inspire other ways of finding calm moments amidst the hustle and bustle.

Spend time outdoors

As the days get shorter and daylight fades much earlier, you may start to feel “down.” What many people refer to as the “winter blues” could be a lack of Vitamin D, the important nutrient that helps boost our immune system and plays an important role in mental health. Increase your levels of Vitamin D with 8 to 15 minutes of sun exposure per day. So, take a little break and soak up the rays!

Why are holidays so hard? A Guide for Coping

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/12/14/why-are-holidays-so-hard-a-guide-for-coping/

#Holiday#JoyfulPeaceful#Christmas#Family#HealthandWellness

How to be Patient with Yourself and Others in a Changing World

How to be Patient with Yourself and Others in a Changing World

By: Rochelle Perper, Ph.D. | July 10, 2020

We live in a time where everything can change at an accelerated pace. No protocol exists for a time like this, no wisdom upon which to rely or set a course to follow. If ever there was a time when we should show patience, it would be now, right? After all, we’ve never done this before, and we can’t expect to get it right the first time. Sadly, too many of us do the exact opposite. We hold ourselves and others to unrealistic standards, beat ourselves up for not doing it well enough, criticize ourselves for lagging behind too long, and expect not to feel natural, human emotions.

Patience is that natural power we have within ourselves to wait for something without getting angry or upset. The longer we must wait, however, the more patience escapes us. In our changing world today, it’s no wonder that our patience is being tested. We are still waiting for answers to questions like “When can we resume usual activity?”“What will school look like next semester?” or “When will we see a real change for racial equality?”

In our changing world today,
we could all use a little more patience –
with ourselves, our world around us, and with others.

Why is it important to be patient?

In the best of circumstances, disruptions to our daily routine cause frustrations that unnerve us. Now, consider the added stressors of:

  • Negotiating new social norms and health protocols
  • Grappling with anxiety and fear for the future
  • Feelings of outrage in response to police brutality and racial injustice
  • Suffering with personal and collective grief
  • Managing added responsibilities

No wonder we have a tough time. Quite frankly, it’s exhausting.

We all want to feel or be better as quickly as possible, an understandable goal in our achievement-driven world. The common misconception prevails that if we push ourselves, we will drive ourselves toward reaching our goals. This is simply incorrect.

When we are inpatient with ourselves, we reject parts of who we are, judge ourselves harshly, and speak to ourselves unkindly. Do thoughts like “I should be used to this by now,” “I can’t get anything done,” or “I’m so exhausted all the time; there must be something wrong with me” sound familiar?

This lack of patience blocks change because we deny ourselves support and knock ourselves down. This leads to lack of motivation to keep trying, and we end up stopping before we’ve really ever started.

Tips to be more patient:

Learning to stay patient with ourselves and others is one of the hardest skills to master in life. And, we need it now more than ever. Use the tips below to engender patience:

1. Focus on progress, not perfection

Think for a moment how you would talk to a child when learning something new. You would likely offer this child encouragement and support while passing off mistakes and errors because this is how kids learn and grow. So, why would you speak to yourself any differently?

You wouldn’t blame a child if they didn’t get it right the first time or get frustrated along the way. Even as adults, we never outgrow the need for gentle, supportive guidance. Try focusing on the progress you make and what you learn rather than beating yourself up for not doing it right or aren’t far enough along.

The same goes for others too. When your partner, a neighbor, co-worker, or stranger at the store acts in an irritable, unhelpful, or unkind way, try giving them the benefit of the doubt. We easily imagine the worst in people, but we never really know their story or what situations they come from. We can safely assume that these times present difficulties for everyone. We all deserve a little grace when we fall short now and again.

2. Practice

Like anything else, learning to garner patience with ourselves takes practice. Research shows that waiting makes us happier in the long run. Give yourself the opportunity of time to earn your reward and resist the urge for immediate gratification. For example, try the following:

  • Allow someone to go in front of you in line at the post office
  • Really listen to someone else’s opinion without interrupting them and before you respond
  • Watch half of a movie one night, and the other half the next night
  • Wait a few moments to begin eating when you sit down for a meal

As you practice, you will begin to gain more patience, and may even realize that you feel calmer, can come to agreements more quickly, and feel happier overall.

3. Reduce stress

Patience comes with more difficulty when you have a lot on your plate and a lot on your mind. When overscheduled or preoccupied with worries, you have diminished capacity to put forth the effort required for patience. To remedy this, examine the things in your life that cause your stress. Try to find solutions to these problems and ask for help when you need it. Look at where you spend your time and see what you can cut out to allow more time to focus on the things that are important to you.

There is no substitute for good old-fashioned self-care to reduce stress. Research shows that three deep abdominal breaths three times a day lowers your levels of stress hormone in your bloodstream. Other relaxation techniques include imagery, guided meditation, body scan, or mindfulness practice. Of course, you also reduce stress if you get enough sleep, allow for physical activity in your day, and eat healthy (especially avoiding too many sweets and alcohol.)

Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Pexels.com

4. Stop multitasking

We are more impatience when we juggle too many things at once. We all do it, we jump from one task to another without finishing the first. This practice proves ineffective time and time again. Worse, it causes a great deal of frustration because you do not do any one of these things well. By focusing on one thing at a time you will feel calmer and accomplish a great deal more.

Bonus tip: Before you go to bed, write down 3 things on a post-it note that you want to do the next day. Make these tasks a priority by tackling them first and resist the urge to get distracted by other things. Research in organizational settings demonstrated that this strategy significantly increased productivity in the workplace.

Change isn’t easy. Quick fixes reside mostly in theory, and lasting change takes time. We will experience challenges, and we may even go backwards at times. Long-term success includes small steps in the direction of your goal. With calm, controlled perseverance and loving kindness, you will achieve whatever you’ve set out to do.

5. Say kind things to yourself

Patience with ourselves and others requires mindful recognition of our humanity and that none of us are perfect. Patience means embracing yourselves with self-acceptance and focusing on progress rather than on perfection. It means giving yourself compassion rather than withholding it. It means speaking to yourself with more kindness and empathy such as:

“I know this is hard. I know you’re struggling,
but I believe in you. You can get through this.”

Changing your internal dialogue provides the most helpful practice you can do to develop the patience that resides within you. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a technique used to identify critical, negative thoughts and develop a more balanced way of thinking. Learning to change your internal dialogue takes time, so try to be patient with yourself as you learn to be more patient with others.

How to be Patient with Yourself and Others in a Changing World

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/12/08/how-to-be-patient-with-yourself-and-others-in-a-changing-world/

#Patient#Multitasking#Stress#Practice#Kind

Source: https://therapychanges.com/blog/2020/07/how-to-be-patient-with-yourself-and-others-in-a-changing-world/#:~:text=Patience%20means%20embracing%20yourselves%20with,I%20know%20this%20is%20hard.

Tips on Finding Your Inner Self

Tips on Finding Your Inner Self

Meriam-Webster Dictionary defines Self-Awareness as “An awareness of one’s own personality or individuality.”


Becoming self-aware is not an easy task. Many of us probably feel like we know ourselves – strengths, weaknesses, areas needing improvement, etc. Heck, our lifecycle is one big experiment in assessment and evaluation.

Yet in the new age of social media, information bombards us from every angle.  External messaging tells us where to shop, who to vote for, the newest hot spot for families, where to spend your hard earned money, etc.

Sound familiar? This unending stimulus challenges even the most resolute among us to be present and attentive in our engagements with colleagues, family and friends. This seismic change in daily information flow if fundamentally changing how we live our lives, and often not for the best.

People take various approaches to “figuring out” who they are; self-help courses, career counseling, traveling, continuing education, and new challenges like completing a Tough Mudder. These experiences are ways to explore deeper motivations that may shed light on the fact that many of us need external validation – hence the beauty of the internet, providing immediate satisfaction via the dopamine cycle that the internet provides.



Here’s some excerpts from the post:

First, perform a skills inventory that help identify your passion. What are your talents and how do you apply them to “pay the bills”.

Second, perform a self-awareness audit: You may be familiar with the traditional concept of an audit. However, this audit is different. The intent is to evaluate your strengths and areas needing improvement. The best way to do this is by requesting feedback from colleagues, friends and family. Asking those that who know you best to provide feedback. This “self-audit” is valuable because people do not self-assess enough, and when they do, the focus is often on the negatives, not their strengths. Once you finish your self-audit, what’s next?  

Boost your self-awareness with these tips:

  • Celebrate Your Wins
  • Boundaries and Priorities
  • Shiny object syndrome
  • Design your Environment
  • Repetition/structure
  • Life experiences/mentor/counseling
  • Be appreciative

How do set create a positive environment to be successful:

  • Set priorities
  • Set boundaries
  • Put your phone away
  • Learn to do nothing
  • Journal non-productive thoughts
  • Brain Dump when your brain is racing

Take specific action steps to better relationships by:

  • Ask More Questions: Listen 2 x as much as speaking
  • Put Others First
  • Don’t Procrastinate – do it now
  • Engage in Self-Improvement – do one thing every day

Self-awareness is more than an experiment with personal exploration. It’s a broader pursuit of living outside of your own immediate needs and being present, genuine and appreciative of the many gifts in our life – people, health, livelihood, etc.

In a world that revolves around the next ‘like’, having perspective on your strengths and how to apply them, can lead to a more fulfilling life experience for you and those that you care for.

by: William Smith
www.jerseygrind.com

Tips on Finding Your Inner Self

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/29/tips-on-finding-your-inner-self/

#Self-awareness#Inner Self#Fulfillinglifeexperience

8 Ways To Have More Gratitude Every Day

Photo by Manuel Aldana on Pexels.com

8 Ways To Have More Gratitude Every Day

In the famous words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Put simply, gratitude is the intentional practice of noticing the good in your life. It relates to anything that makes you feel grateful, fortunate, or blessed.

It can be easy to get swept away in the fast lane and forget to stop and show your appreciation for what you do have. A life well lived is one of gratitude and thankfulness. Gratitude is the intentional practice of noticing the good in your life. It relates to anything that makes you feel grateful, fortunate, blessed. At this Thanksgiving holidays, we should think more and more about the things we are most grateful for in life.

To help you on your gratitude  journey, here are 8 ways to have more gratitude in your daily life not just on Thanksgiving.

1. Don’t be picky: appreciate everything

Gratitude doesn’t have to be saved for the “big” things in life. The habit of being grateful starts with appreciating every good thing in life and recognizing that there is nothing too small for you to be thankful for.

Even if it is as simple as appreciating the clear weather or how quickly your mailman delivered your mail last Friday, don’t leave anything out when practicing your gratitude.

2. Find gratitude in your challenges

Gratitude is not only about being thankful for positive experiences. In fact, sometimes thinking about negative or difficult situations can help to really nail down what you have to be thankful for.

Western Buddhist master Jack Kornfield remembers an exercise he did with a man who was caring for his grandson while his son and daughter-in-law battled a drug addiction. Despite all that he had been through, the man was still able to find gratitude for the amount of compassion he had learned to show and the impact he was able to have on other people.

Dig a little deeper into some of your own past experiences and try to figure out how they have helped shape you into the person you are today.

3. Practice mindfulness

Sit down daily and think through five to ten things you are grateful for. The trick is that you need to picture it in your mind and sit with that feeling of gratitude in your body. Doing this every day will rewire your brain to be naturally more grateful, and you’ll start feeling happier after every session.

It only takes eight weeks of gratitude practice for people to start showing changed brain patterns that lead to greater empathy and happiness.

Your brain is a powerful tool, and training it towards gratitude is all part of ensuring that the gratitude comes more easily as you practice, so what are you waiting for?

4. Keep a gratitude journal

After your mindfulness session, write down your positive thoughts! Keeping a journal of all of the things you are thankful for can help you keep track of and refer back to the positives in your life.

Write down your positive thoughts to further focus your attention on the subject. While you are putting the pen to paper, you have no choice but to consciously think about the words you are writing without other distracting, ungrateful thoughts.

You can journal every day after your gratitude practice, or you can come back to the journal on a regular schedule weekly or monthly.

5. Volunteer

For many people, the key to having more gratitude is to give back to others in their local community. Not only will it make you more grateful for the things that you may take for granted, but studies have shown that volunteering for the purpose of helping others increases our own well-being, and thus our ability to have more gratitude.

University of Pennsylvania professor, Martin Seligman, supports this theory with his research in Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being. After testing all kinds of variables that help improve our well-being, he found that volunteering is the single most reliable way to momentarily increase your well-being.

In other words: helping others helps you!

6. Express yourself

Sometimes it’s not enough to simply keep your gratitude to yourself. You can increase your feelings of gratitude by expressing that same gratitude to the people you care about.

Soul Pancake, a group that works to discover the “science of happiness,” ran an experiment where they encouraged people to write a letter to a person they were grateful for. By itself, this exercise increased their levels of happiness from 2 to 4%. However, when the same people made a phone call to the person they were thankful for to express their gratitude directly, happiness levels jumped from 4% to 19%.

Not only does expressing your gratitude for someone make their day a little brighter, but it can do wonders for increasing your own levels of gratitude and happiness in the long run

7. Spend time with loved ones

If you’re struggling with feeling the gratitude in the moment, go spend time with your friends and family. Of course it will help you grow closer to them and strengthen your relationship, but it will also give you a chance to practice your acts of gratitude on people that you care about.

Start small if they’re having trouble finding ways to support your friends and family. For instance, why don’t you make sure you’re listening intently the next time someone shares a story with you instead of waiting for your own chance to speak? Or start a conversation with a difficult member of the family by complimenting their new shoes or hair-cut.

8. Improve your happiness in other areas of your life

Being grateful can make you happy, but being happy can also make you grateful. There are plenty of other ways to get your mood up, including exercising or participating in a hobby you enjoy.

Once you are feeling the endorphins flow, showing gratitude will become even easier and you’ll start to be able to make list after list of all of the things in your life you’re thankful for.

8 Ways To Have More Gratitude Every Day

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/23/8-ways-to-have-more-gratitude-every-day/

Source : https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2016/07/08/8-ways-to-have-more-gratitude-every-day/?sh=78847a301d54

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

Don’t let everyday stresses and problems get you down to the point where you think the only relief is heavily drinking or some other drug-related solution. Not only will your so-called relief be temporary, it can also be harmful to your health, contribute to possible addiction, and leave you more incapable of dealing with stresses on your own the next time they occur. 

HERE ARE 8 WAYS TO SELF-SOOTH WITHOUT USING A MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCE

READ
Develop a reading habit and you will find that you look forward to your time with your latest book. While you are reading, let this be your time for yourself. Set aside whatever amount of time you can and devote it wholeheartedly to reading.

MEDITATION
Meditation has been practiced for countless centuries to relieve stress, anxiety, depression, to treat a variety of illnesses, to help during treatment for addictive behaviors, reduce high blood pressure, and alleviate pain and to relax. Practice meditating every day at a regular time, for a regular duration. Ultimately, your perspective will start to evolve and you will grow more able to choose your moods and reactions instead of them choosing you.

YOGA
No need to be a master practitioner or a contortionist to reap the benefits from yoga. Yoga can be described as a collection of spiritual techniques and practices that seek to integrate mind, body and spirit in the quest to achieve enlightenment or oneness with the universe.

Photo by Prasanth Inturi on Pexels.com

TAKE A HOT BATH
AH, the satisfaction of soaking in a hot bubble bath, one of the best natural ways to relax and unwind. Give it a try! Light a candle, dim the lights and bring your awareness to the breath. Deep inhales through the noise, exhales out the mouth. Try this for sets of 5. You’ll absolutely feel less anxiety and much more able to cope with the challenges of day to day life.

VOLUNTEER
There’s no question there are many deserving charities and organizations that can use help. Volunteer to help serve meals at homeless shelters, or give of your time to visit with senior citizens at assisted living centers. When you look outside yourself and your own problems and give of yourself, it’s a selfless form of generosity that rewards you with a sense of inner peace.

WALK IN NATURE
Walking in nature helps you to decompress, as it magically increases the bodies natural feel-good chemicals. Breathing in the fresh air, noticing the beauty, and listening to the sounds around you will no doubt elevate your mood, leaving you with a feeling of completion and relaxation. 

BECOME MORE SPIRITUAL
Spirituality is something that is actively pursued, cultivated, and nourished. You don’t need to be religious to reap the rewards of a heightened spirituality. You can develop your spirituality by looking inward and trying to improve your outlook on life. Becoming more spiritual will give you a new appreciation for life and how precious it is. You will be able to give more of yourself to others, and gain richness beyond measure in return.

MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST
Get into the habit of writing down 5 things you are grateful for every morning. Goodness has a way of spreading its way around. When you are positive in your outlook, and act in a manner that inspires others to do likewise, you are helping to lift others out of themselves and into a better appreciation of life.

Life is all about living. Let’s make this life the best we can for as long as we have. You won’t need drugs to help you relax. Living life to the fullest will be your gift — to you and to those you love. Namaste.

Photo by Nilina on Pexels.com

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/09/8-ways-to-self-sooth-without-using-a-mind-altering-substance/

#SelfSooth#Yoga#SPIRITUAL#VOLUNTEER#InnerPeace#WellnessHealth#Meditation

Source: https://www.beinghappybuddha.com