Tag: Wellness

The Longest Study on Human Happiness

linda changLeave a comment

The Secret to Having a Long and Happy Life

For over 75 years, Harvard’s Grant and Glueck study has tracked the physical and emotional well-being of two populations: 456 poor men growing up in Boston from 1939 to 2014 (the Grant Study), and 268 male graduates from Harvard’s classes of 1939-1944 (the Glueck study).

Due to the length of the research period, this has required multiple generations of researchers. Since before WWII, they’ve diligently analyzed blood samples, conducted brain scans (once they became available), and pored over self-reported surveys, as well as actual interactions with these men, to compile the findings.

The conclusion? According to Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one thing surpasses all the rest in terms of importance:

“The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”

Not how much is in your 401(k). Not how many conferences you spoke at–or keynoted. Not how many blog posts you wrote or how many followers you had or how many tech companies you worked for or how much power you wielded there or how much you vested at each.

No, the biggest predictor of your happiness and fulfillment overall in life is, basically, love.

Specifically, the study demonstrates that having someone to rely on helps your nervous system relax, helps your brain stay healthier for longer, and reduces both emotional as well as physical pain.

The data is also very clear that those who feel lonely are more likely to see their physical health decline earlier and die younger.

“It’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you’re in a committed relationship,” says Waldinger. “It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.”

What that means is this: It doesn’t matter whether you have a huge group of friends and go out every weekend or if you’re in a “perfect” romantic relationship (as if those exist). It’s the quality of the relationships–how much vulnerability and depth exists within them; how safe you feel sharing with one another; the extent to which you can relax and be seen for who you truly are, and truly see another.

According to George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the study from 1972 to 2004, there are two foundational elements to this: “One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.”

“When the study began, nobody cared about empathy or attachment. But the key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships. ” — George Vaillant

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Thus, if you’ve found love (in the form of a relationship, let’s say) but you undergo a trauma like losing a job, losing a parent, or losing a child, and you don’t deal with that trauma, you could end up “coping” in a way that pushes love away.

This is a very good reminder to prioritize not only connection but your own capacity to process emotions and stress. If you’re struggling, get a good therapist. Join a support group. Invest in a workshop. Get a grief counselor. Take personal growth seriously so you are available for connection.

Because the data is clear that, in the end, you could have all the money you’ve ever wanted, a successful career, and be in good physical health, but without loving relationships, you won’t be happy.

The next time you’re scrolling through Facebook instead of being present at the table with your significant other, or you’re considering staying late at the office instead of getting together with your close friend, or you catch yourself working on a Saturday instead of going to the farmer’s market with your sister, consider making a different choice.

“Relationships are messy and they’re complicated,” acknowledges Waldinger. But he’s adamant in his research-backed assessment:

“The good life is built with good relationships.”

The Secret to Having a Long and Happy Life

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2023/08/18/the-longest-study-on-human-happiness/

#Harvard#HumanResearch#AdultDevelopment #Happy #healthy #Longlife #Relationship #Love #LongestStudy

Source: https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/want-a-life-of-fulfillment-a-75-year-harvard-study-says-to-prioritize-this-one-t.html

Patience Helps Us Slow Down When Things Speed Up

linda changLeave a comment

Patience Helps Us Slow Down When Things Speed Up

By Sophie Caldecott

I recently realized that I live most of my waking hours in a state of perpetual striving. There’s a nagging voice at the back of my mind constantly adding new items to my to-do list. My phone is littered with notes made at odd times of the day and night, reminding me to email this person, pitch that idea, edit my website, write this blog post, make a healthier meal plan, and complete a complicated DIY craft project with my kids. 

The lists spill out over the pages of my notebooks and diary, onto sticky notes and scraps of paper in my purse. The to-do list is an ever-evolving beast that is never satisfied, and leaves me feeling impatient, frustrated, and restless. Can you relate?

Overstimulation sets us up for failure

We crave peace — to be fully present in the here and now; to soak it all up; to be grateful for all that we have. But our minds constantly skip ahead to the next task. We barely notice when we reach or surpass one goal because we’re so focused on what we haven’t achieved yet.  

We live in an unnaturally fast-paced culture, with a 24/7 digital connection to the rest of the world. With all the noise that surrounds us, we feel pressure to cram as much into our schedules and brains as possible. 

One of the many consequences of this overstimulation can be that we end up holding ourselves to impossible standards and get impatient with our limitations and seemingly “slow” progress. There are so many things we could do, and we’re more aware of all our options and potential than ever. It can be hard to remember how impossible it would be to actually do it all.

Patience can unlock productivity and open the door to growth

Research shows multitasking damages our productivity and can negatively impact the way our brains process information. We know that rest is essential for our well-being and creativity. The benefits of disconnecting from our tech and making an intentional choice to slow down our lives are more and more widely discussed. 

I’ve found in my own life, however, that understanding the benefits and actually internalizing those beliefs are two different things. One of the trickiest aspects of choosing to unplug and slow down is to tune out that frantic, impatient voice telling us that we’re not achieving enough fast enough. So what’s the solution?

Patience is the antidote to this sense of restless striving — especially learning to have patience with ourselves. Here are a few ideas to help you cultivate this in your own life. 

Tips for cultivating patience

1. Understand that your energy will ebb and flow

Despite what our post-Industrial Revolution capitalist society would like us to think, we’re not machines, and our bodies have more in common with the natural world and the seasons than our constantly switched-on devices. Research shows that our brains rarely work well for long uninterrupted stretches of time, and, as Inc. put it, “An 8-hour workday only makes sense if you’re screwing in widgets on an assembly line.”

You’re probably already aware of your favorite time of day, and have a sense of whether you work better in the morning, afternoon, or evening. This applies to the seasons, as well — your productivity and whether or not you’re feeling at your best, in general, can be hugely influenced by other factors like your hormonal cycle, your health, and whatever is going on in your life at that particular time.

Remembering you’re not a machine and that your mood, abilities, and needs will be constantly shifting and changing can help you become more patient with yourself. 

2. Grow in self-awareness

In their online course, A Seasonal Year, Maddy Lawson and Eleanor Cheetham suggest mapping out the year to find where your energy is naturally highest and where it’s lowest. Think about what kind of work fills you up, and what kind of work leaves you feeling more drained. Consider which seasons find you scribbling down new ideas like there’s no tomorrow, and which ones make you feel like hunkering down and staying firmly in your comfort zone.

Once you’ve learned to recognize your own patterns, you’ll be better placed to think creatively about how you can work with your tendencies, rather than against them. We don’t always have a choice about how much work we have on our plates or how we spend our days, but we usually have at least a little more choice than we think we do. And growing in self-awareness is the first step toward becoming more patient with yourself.

On my own journey towards self-awareness, for example, I’ve learned that my energy tends to be the lowest in the winter. So now I can prepare myself to be less ambitious and more patient with myself during that particular season.

3. Stay curious about your roadblocks

Nir Eyal, the author of Indistractable, encourages us to watch out for the moments when we start to procrastinate and question why we’re putting something off. He points out that there’s always a deeper emotion underneath the instinct to procrastinate — whether that’s fear of failing, not knowing how to do something, weariness and feeling too burnt out to engage with it, or just plain boredom. 

When you cultivate a habit of observing the things that trip you up — that hold you back from making the progress you’d like to make without judgment — you can have more empathy for yourself instead of beating yourself up or calling yourself lazy. Keep in mind, though, that this isn’t about making excuses or trying to get out of doing the necessary work. When you can say, “That’s interesting, I’m trying to put off doing this thing because I’m really tired right now,” it’s easier to be patient with yourself. This allows you to find potential solutions — like rearranging your schedule in order to tackle a task later on with renewed focus and energy — rather than just getting frustrated with yourself.

4. Notice, celebrate, and cultivate gratitude for the good

I’m guilty of not taking the time to reflect on — or celebrate — the good things in my life. I recently achieved a dream I’d been harboring for years, and after about five minutes of feeling excited and happy about it, I went back to worrying about the next thing. This experience helped me realize that patience is a habit — a mindset that we have to cultivate — and that it’s intimately linked with gratitude.

It can feel kind of corny or egotistical to stop and pat yourself on the back when something goes well or you handle something in a way that you’re proud of, but as I get older I’m realizing how important it is to celebrate the small victories. Regularly refocusing on the bigger picture can help you see how far you’ve come, have a deeper sense of gratitude for where you’re at, and make peace with the time it takes to get anywhere good.  

Patience is a virtue

Ultimately, having patience with ourselves helps us to develop deeper patience for others, and it all starts with understanding ourselves better. These tips will help you to self-assess, put patience into practice, and reap the benefits of increased self-awareness and productivity throughout your life. It might seem counterintuitive, but when things speed up, we should slow down — and watch the wonderful results that patience provides. 

Patience Helps Us Slow Down When Things Speed Up

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2022/12/28/patience-helps-us-slow-down-when-things-speed-up/

#Patience#Cultivate#Self-assess#Self-awareness

Source: https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/how-to-be-patient-with-yourself-tips/

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

linda chang1 Comment

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

Don’t let everyday stresses and problems get you down to the point where you think the only relief is heavily drinking or some other drug-related solution. Not only will your so-called relief be temporary, it can also be harmful to your health, contribute to possible addiction, and leave you more incapable of dealing with stresses on your own the next time they occur. 

HERE ARE 8 WAYS TO SELF-SOOTH WITHOUT USING A MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCE

READ
Develop a reading habit and you will find that you look forward to your time with your latest book. While you are reading, let this be your time for yourself. Set aside whatever amount of time you can and devote it wholeheartedly to reading.

MEDITATION
Meditation has been practiced for countless centuries to relieve stress, anxiety, depression, to treat a variety of illnesses, to help during treatment for addictive behaviors, reduce high blood pressure, and alleviate pain and to relax. Practice meditating every day at a regular time, for a regular duration. Ultimately, your perspective will start to evolve and you will grow more able to choose your moods and reactions instead of them choosing you.

YOGA
No need to be a master practitioner or a contortionist to reap the benefits from yoga. Yoga can be described as a collection of spiritual techniques and practices that seek to integrate mind, body and spirit in the quest to achieve enlightenment or oneness with the universe.

Photo by Prasanth Inturi on Pexels.com

TAKE A HOT BATH
AH, the satisfaction of soaking in a hot bubble bath, one of the best natural ways to relax and unwind. Give it a try! Light a candle, dim the lights and bring your awareness to the breath. Deep inhales through the noise, exhales out the mouth. Try this for sets of 5. You’ll absolutely feel less anxiety and much more able to cope with the challenges of day to day life.

VOLUNTEER
There’s no question there are many deserving charities and organizations that can use help. Volunteer to help serve meals at homeless shelters, or give of your time to visit with senior citizens at assisted living centers. When you look outside yourself and your own problems and give of yourself, it’s a selfless form of generosity that rewards you with a sense of inner peace.

WALK IN NATURE
Walking in nature helps you to decompress, as it magically increases the bodies natural feel-good chemicals. Breathing in the fresh air, noticing the beauty, and listening to the sounds around you will no doubt elevate your mood, leaving you with a feeling of completion and relaxation. 

BECOME MORE SPIRITUAL
Spirituality is something that is actively pursued, cultivated, and nourished. You don’t need to be religious to reap the rewards of a heightened spirituality. You can develop your spirituality by looking inward and trying to improve your outlook on life. Becoming more spiritual will give you a new appreciation for life and how precious it is. You will be able to give more of yourself to others, and gain richness beyond measure in return.

MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST
Get into the habit of writing down 5 things you are grateful for every morning. Goodness has a way of spreading its way around. When you are positive in your outlook, and act in a manner that inspires others to do likewise, you are helping to lift others out of themselves and into a better appreciation of life.

Life is all about living. Let’s make this life the best we can for as long as we have. You won’t need drugs to help you relax. Living life to the fullest will be your gift — to you and to those you love. Namaste.

Photo by Nilina on Pexels.com

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/09/8-ways-to-self-sooth-without-using-a-mind-altering-substance/

#SelfSooth#Yoga#SPIRITUAL#VOLUNTEER#InnerPeace#WellnessHealth#Meditation

Source: https://www.beinghappybuddha.com

6 warning signs of a heart attack in women

linda changLeave a comment

6 warning signs of a heart attack in women

Heart attacks are often stereotyped as something that happens to older men, not women. But heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the United States.1 Yet only about half (56%) of women know this.1

Plus, the way women experience a heart attack can feel different from men. While both men and women may have chest pain during a heart attack, women tend to have symptoms in addition to chest pain.

Researchers found that when women have a heart attack, they’re more likely to experience 3 or more related symptoms compared to men.2 These symptoms may include jaw pain, neck pain, back pain, and shortness of breath, and can make it hard for women to tell if they’re having a heart attack.

Women are also more likely than men to think their heart attack symptoms are caused by anxiety and stress.2 Oftentimes, this misunderstanding — combined with a wider range of symptoms — can cause women to wait longer to get treated.

“Several studies have shown that women wait longer to get treatment for a heart attack than men,” says Mingsum Lee, MD, a clinical cardiologist at Kaiser Permanente’s Los Angeles Medical Center.

So, it’s important to learn these symptoms of a heart attack and know when to seek care.

Heart attack warning signs for women

1. Chest pain

The most common heart attack symptom for women (and men) is chest pain. “About 90% of women and men have chest pain when they’re having a heart attack,” says Dr. Lee.

This chest pain and discomfort usually happens after stress — the stress can either be physical, like exercise, or emotional stress. The pain is usually strong, comes on gradually, and increases in intensity over several minutes.

“Typically, the pain feels very deep and it’s hard to localize or pinpoint,” says Dr. Lee. “People generally use terms like ‘pressure,’ ‘squeezing,’ ‘heaviness,’ or ‘tightness’ to describe the sensation in their chest.”

2. Arm, back, neck, or jaw pain

“Sometimes chest pain can radiate or travel through your arm, neck, jaw, or your back,” says Dr. Lee. The pain may gradually get more intense over several minutes.

Since most people expect pain to be in their chest during a heart attack, these symptoms can be very confusing. This is especially true because it may be difficult to pinpoint where the pain started.

3. Stomach pain

Nausea and stomach pain may also be heart attack warning signs for women. “Sometimes people come in late for care because they think they’re having heartburn or acid reflux,” says Dr. Lee. Heartburn or reflux comes from inflammation in the esophagus, which is right next to the heart. This can make it hard to tell if it’s discomfort from eating certain foods or a heart attack. “Generally speaking, heartburn can be triggered by certain spicy food, citrus, and alcohol,” she explains. And acid reflux feels worse when you lie down.

4. Shortness of breath

You might be having a heart attack if you suddenly have shortness of breath for no apparent reason. It may feel like you have to stop and catch your breath while doing an ordinary task. “For example, if you can normally do grocery shopping with no problem, but suddenly you can’t catch your breath while you’re walking down the grocery aisle and you have to stop to rest, that’s a warning sign,” says Dr. Lee.

5. Sweating

Sudden sweating plus chest pain is another related heart attack symptom for women. You may feel like you’re having a cold sweat or feel clammy while also feeling some chest pain.

6. Fatigue

Similarly, chest pain with sudden fatigue and exhaustion may be a sign that you’re having a heart attack. You may feel overly tired for no reason — and the fatigue comes out of nowhere. Your regular activities suddenly become too difficult because you’re extremely tired.

Don’t hesitate to call 911

You might not have all of these heart attack warning signs. But if you’re having any of these symptoms, call 911 immediately. Don’t wait.

In her work, Dr. Lee has seen both younger and older women put off going to the doctor — even when they’re feeling heart attack symptoms. “Young women are often focused on being the caretaker for their children or elderly parents, and they don’t come into the hospital because there’s no one else to take care of their children or parents,” she says.

On the flip side, Dr. Lee has seen older women who are widowed and live alone not want to bother their children or friends. “These women may be having chest pain, but they don’t want to bother people. So they sit at home and hope the symptoms go away,” she says. Sometimes, they don’t drive and are too embarrassed to ask for help.

“I think a lot of times women are used to being the caregivers, so when they themselves need help they aren’t used to asking for it,” Dr. Lee says. This could be another reason why women wait so long to get care for heart attacks.

But it’s important to listen to your body and prioritize your health.

Bottom line: If you’re not sure if you’re having a heart attack, come into the hospital to get checked out. “The earlier you come in for medical care,” Dr. Lee says, “the earlier we can start therapy and the less damage there will be to the heart.”

Risk factors for heart attack in women

In addition to knowing key heart attack symptoms, it’s also important to know if you have risk factors for heart disease. “Many women aren’t aware that they’re at risk for heart attack,” explains Dr. Lee. “So when they start having symptoms, they don’t even consider that it’s a warning sign.”

Common risk factors for women include:

  • Certain medical conditions. Women are at higher risk for heart disease if they have diabetes, high blood pressure, or an inflammatory disease like rheumatoid arthritis or lupus.
  • Pregnancy complications. Women who had pregnancy complications like gestational diabetes, gestational hypertension, or preeclampsia are at higher risk for heart attack later in life.
  • Smoking. Research shows that smoking can increase the risk of heart attack for young people by sevenfold.3 And female smokers are 25% more likely to have heart disease than male smokers.3
  • Lifestyle choices. Poor diet, overuse of alcohol, and physical inactivity all increase a woman’s risk for heart attack.
  • Menopause. Lower levels of estrogen after menopause can increase the risk of heart attack for women.

Understanding your risk factors and knowing common heart attack symptoms are  important first steps in taking care of your heart.

Link: https://wisdomtea.org/2022/03/10/6-warning-signs-of-a-heart-attack-in-women/

https://thrive.kaiserpermanente.org/thrive-together/live-well/6-warning-signs-of-heart-attack-in-women?wt.tsrc=email_pih&cat=l&mkt_tok=NDkyLU5RVS0wMTQAAAGC4ceuIRPW2SN_tksZv1_-5L-2lV_4Ml3eKNysqKRKZjpVqcR6UJEjTyHLGEy5iFeVsA8NJk8PoK-Wv-mID9APcHL76qUqkCOMc7ihdf4U8A

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