10 Steps To Effective Listening


10 Steps To Effective Listening

by Dianne Schilling

In today’s high-tech, high-speed, high-stress world, communication is more important then ever, yet we seem to devote less and less time to really listening to one another. Genuine listening has become a rare gift—the gift of time. It helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts, and improve accuracy. At work, effective listening means fewer errors and less wasted time. At home, it helps develop resourceful, self-reliant kids who can solve their own problems. Listening builds friendships and careers. It saves money and marriages.

Here are 10 tips to help you develop effective listening skills.

Step 1: Face the speaker and maintain eye contact.

Talking to someone while they scan the room, study a computer screen, or gaze out the window is like trying to hit a moving target. How much of the person’s divided attention you are actually getting? Fifty percent? Five percent? If the person were your child you might demand, “Look at me when I’m talking to you,” but that’s not the sort of thing we say to a lover, friend or colleague.

In most Western cultures, eye contact is considered a basic ingredient of effective communication. When we talk, we look each other in the eye. That doesn’t mean that you can’t carry on a conversation from across the room, or from another room, but if the conversation continues for any length of time, you (or the other person) will get up and move. The desire for better communication pulls you together.

Do your conversational partners the courtesy of turning to face them. Put aside papers, books, the phone and other distractions. Look at them, even if they don’t look at you. Shyness, uncertainty, shame, guilt, or other emotions, along with cultural taboos, can inhibit eye contact in some people under some circumstances. Excuse the other guy, but stay focused yourself.

Step 2: Be attentive, but relaxed.

Now that you’ve made eye contact, relax. You don’t have to stare fixedly at the other person. You can look away now and then and carry on like a normal person. The important thing is to be attentive. The dictionary says that to “attend” another person means to:

  • be present
  • give attention
  • apply or direct yourself
  • pay attention
  • remain ready to serve

Mentally screen out distractions, like background activity and noise. In addition, try not to focus on the speaker’s accent or speech mannerisms to the point where they become distractions. Finally, don’t be distracted by your own thoughts, feelings, or biases.

Step 3: Keep an open mind.

Listen without judging the other person or mentally criticizing the things she tells you. If what she says alarms you, go ahead and feel alarmed, but don’t say to yourself, “Well, that was a stupid move.” As soon as you indulge in judgmental bemusements, you’ve compromised your effectiveness as a listener.

Listen without jumping to conclusions. Remember that the speaker is using language to represent the thoughts and feelings inside her brain. You don’t know what those thoughts and feelings are and the only way you’ll find out is by listening.

Don’t be a sentence-grabber. Occasionally my partner can’t slow his mental pace enough to listen effectively, so he tries to speed up mine by interrupting and finishing my sentences. This usually lands him way off base, because he is following his own train of thought and doesn’t learn where my thoughts are headed. After a couple of rounds of this, I usually ask, “Do you want to have this conversation by yourself, or do you want to hear what I have to say?” I wouldn’t do that with everyone, but it works with him.

Step 4: Listen to the words and try to picture what the speaker is saying.

Allow your mind to create a mental model of the information being communicated. Whether a literal picture, or an arrangement of abstract concepts, your brain will do the necessary work if you stay focused, with senses fully alert. When listening for long stretches, concentrate on, and remember, key words and phrases.

When it’s your turn to listen, don’t spend the time planning what to say next. You can’t rehearse and listen at the same time. Think only about what the other person is saying.

Finally, concentrate on what is being said, even if it bores you. If your thoughts start to wander, immediately force yourself to refocus.

Step 5: Don’t interrupt and don’t impose your “solutions.”

Children used to be taught that it’s rude to interrupt. I’m not sure that message is getting across anymore. Certainly the opposite is being modeled on the majority of talk shows and reality programs, where loud, aggressive, in-your-face behavior is condoned, if not encouraged.

Interrupting sends a variety of messages. It says:

  • “I’m more important than you are.”
  • “What I have to say is more interesting, accurate or relevant.”
  • “I don’t really care what you think.”
  • “I don’t have time for your opinion.”
  • “This isn’t a conversation, it’s a contest, and I’m going to win.”

We all think and speak at different rates. If you are a quick thinker and an agile talker, the burden is onyouto relax your pace for the slower, more thoughtful communicator—or for the guy who has trouble expressing himself.

When listening to someone talk about a problem, refrain from suggesting solutions. Most of us don’t want your advice anyway. If we do, we’ll ask for it. Most of us prefer to figure out our own solutions. We need you to listen and help us do that. Somewhere way down the line, if you are absolutely bursting with a brilliant solution, at least get the speaker’s permission. Ask, “Would you like to hear my ideas?”

Step 6: Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions.

When you don’t understand something, of course you should ask the speaker to explain it to you. But rather than interrupt, wait until the speaker pauses. Then say something like, “Back up a second. I didn’t understand what you just said about…”

Step 7: Ask questions only to ensure understanding.

At lunch, a colleague is excitedly telling you about her trip to Vermont and all the wonderful things she did and saw. In the course of this chronicle, she mentions that she spent some time with a mutual friend. You jump in with, “Oh, I haven’t heard from Alice in ages. How is she?” and, just like that, discussion shifts to Alice and her divorce, and the poor kids, which leads to a comparison of custody laws, and before you know it an hour is gone and Vermont is a distant memory.

This particular conversational affront happens all the time. Our questions lead people in directions that have nothing to do with where they thought they were going. Sometimes we work our way back to the original topic, but very often we don’t.

When you notice that your question has led the speaker astray, take responsibility for getting the conversation back on track by saying something like, “It was great to hear about Alice, but tell me more about your adventure in Vermont.”

Step 8: Try to feel what the speaker is feeling.

If you feel sad when the person with whom you are talking expresses sadness, joyful when she expresses joy, fearful when she describes her fears—and convey those feelings through your facial expressions and words—then your effectiveness as a listener is assured. Empathy is the heart and soul of good listening.

To experience empathy, you have to put yourself in the other person’s place and allow yourself to feel what it is like to be her at that moment. This is not an easy thing to do. It takes energy and concentration. But it is a generous and helpful thing to do, and it facilitates communication like nothing else does.

Step 9: Give the speaker regular feedback.

Show that you understand where the speaker is coming from by reflecting the speaker’s feelings. “You must be thrilled!” “What a terrible ordeal for you.” “I can see that you are confused.” If the speaker’s feelings are hidden or unclear, then occasionally paraphrase the content of the message. Or just nod and show your understanding through appropriate facial expressions and an occasional well-timed “hmmm” or “uh huh.”

The idea is to give the speaker some proof that you are listening, and that you are following her train of thought—not off indulging in your own fantasies while she talks to the ether.

In task situations, regardless of whether at work or home, always restate instructions and messages to be sure you understand correctly.

Step 10: Pay attention to what isn’t said—to nonverbal cues.

If you exclude email, the majority of direct communication is probably nonverbal. We glean a great deal of information about each other without saying a word. Even over the telephone, you can learn almost as much about a person from the tone and cadence of her voice than from anything she says. When I talk to my best friend, it doesn’t matter what we chat about, if I hear a lilt and laughter in her voice, I feel reassured that she’s doing well.

Face to face with a person, you can detect enthusiasm, boredom, or irritation very quickly in the expression around the eyes, the set of the mouth, the slope of the shoulders. These are clues you can’t ignore. When listening, remember that words convey only a fraction of the message.

Listening Skills Exercise: Summarize, Summarize, Summarize!

For at least one week, at the end of every conversation in which information is exchanged, conclude with a summary statement. In conversations that result in agreements about future obligations or activities, summarizing will not only ensure accurate follow-through, it will feel perfectly natural. In conversations that do not include agreements, if summarizing feels awkward just explain that you are doing it as an exercise.

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10 Steps To Effective Listening

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/27/__trashed-4/

#Listening#Respect#Conversation#Solution#EffectiveListening

https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/?sh=4d5306543891

I have more prosperous business and happy family after learning Buddhism

I have more prosperous business and happy family after learning Buddhism

The lucky door in life is always inadvertently opened. Maybe it’s the blessings from the Buddha and Boddhisatva.

I remember that day, a critical turning point in my life. I was exercising in the community that day, a surnamed Meng dharma sister asked me to worship the Buddha in the Buddhist Hall nearby. I agreed with her as soon as I heard the invitation. The dharma brothers and sisters made me feel at home. It’s totally different from the people I met in my life, most of whom treated me courteously but without sincerity. So I decided to chant sutras and listen to the recorded discourses expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III with dharma brothers and sisters. I felt like it’s the place that I should come. Then I couldn’t help crying when chanting sutras, and I would repent. Every time after listening the recorded Buddha dharma discourses, I was filled with endless power.

To my shame, I never settle down to study, but hurry to come and leave the Buddhist Hall owing to busy work. With my diligence for listening the dharma discourses, I make progress and schedule time for study in the Buddhist Hall. Undoubtedly, we want to lead a good life, but learning Buddhism is more important, we can and we have to plan enough time for study.

On the National Day in 2016, I gave up travelling with my family but took part in the Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva Great Compassion Empowerment Dharma Assembly, from which, I truly knew the great Buddha Dharma is true and real. The next day I converted to Buddhism. I was earnest and pious in studying Buddhism after conversion.

The Buddha taught us to conduct cultivation and introspection, to conduct three introspections in the course of a day. I found myself did many things that I should not do in the past, including killing other living beings. When I realized the retribution of killing, I decided not to kill, while turned to vegan at dinner, and on the first day and the fifteenth day of the lunar calendar.

I’ve been doing prostrations since the dharma assembly. Now I have a fit body and my wine tummy is gone. My blood pressure used to be a little bit high, but now it’s stable. I don’t feel panic or worried if travelling by plane or driving. I sleep well all night after chanting H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III.

Some people think that it takes time to learn Buddhism and it will affect the business and work. However, my business is more prosperous since I’ve taken Buddhism. Numerous long-term orders come for me. Several days ago, the municipal government called me for delivery. I was surprised, because I didn’t have the resource superiority. I focused on social engagement and seldom stayed at home in the past. Now I cherish and care about my family. My son usually asks me to spend time with him. Taking Buddhism makes me healthier and my family relationships more harmonious.

I truly know that Buddhism brings me happiness, so I am determined to do my best to make offerings to Buddha Halls. With the help from dharma brothers and sisters, I set up a Buddha Hall at home. My family also join me to study Buddhism.

All above is my own experience. I hope everyone has the karmic affinity to study the true Dharma of Tathagata. We all eager for a happy life, but making money is only a part of it. The health and happiness we have on this side is temporary, while attaining the accomplishment and liberation on the other side is the truth.

I have more prosperous business and happy family after learning Buddhism

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/25/i-have-more-prosperous-business-and-happy-family-after-learning-buddhism/

#DorjeChangBuddhaIII # HHDorjeChangBuddhaIII  #Cultivation #Buddhism#Buddhist # Causality

#Dharma Assembly#KarmicAffinity

Source: http://www.hzbi.us/?p=915

How do I get out of this black vortex when I’ve lost my family fortune

How do I get out of this black vortex when I’ve lost my family fortune

 My husband and I have a son and a daughter. My daughter was employed in a bank and my son ran a chemical business in the bonded area. Although the competition was fierce, my son was smart and flexible, he made his career. Soon the children grew to the age for marriage, we bought a car and a big suite at the lake scenic area. Then we had a daughter-in-law, married our daughter. We became grandparents the second year. My husband and I learned Buddhism and cultivation while taking care of our grandchildren. We lived a full life and enjoyed the happiness of our family.
    After two years’ happy life, my son wanted to switch to project contraction because of the hard competition and low profit in the chemistry business. No matter how we discouraged him, he didn’t change his mind. Finally, we urged him not to gamble or turn to high-risk lenders, he should think twice and keep wits on dealing matters.
    My son flew to different cities to struggle for business. The assets could reach to ten million at most. At the peak of his career, he undertook hundreds of millions of decoration projects and led hundreds of workers. We often asked him about the business, he always understated the situation and told us not to worry, he said what we need to do was learning Buddhism and taking good care of the grandchild. Later, my son came back home more and more frequently, and he avoided answering phones in front of us. We became nervous.
    It was after different people came for millions of debts that we knew what was a bolt from the blue. I used to hear that Jack was bankrupt, Tom was cheated and John had an accident, but I didn’t expect that it was our turn.
    It turned out that my son put a lot of money into the project, and he also borrowed millions of money for emergency. The first party has to pay some money after the project passed the acceptance checks, but it withheld the money and didn’t fulfill the contract. My son sued the first party after he failed to get the money back in several months. However, the creditors were demanding to be paid every day.
     It is compulsory to pay what you owe. We deeply knew that we couldn’t err on the causality, so we tried our best to help our son to settle debts, but the money we had was still far from enough. We borrowed money from all people we knew without caring about losing faces. However, people usually busily embroidering more flowers on the brocade rather than sending charcoal to the needy on a snowy winter day. In this situation, we sold the house and car to repay most of the debts.

During the process, I remembered what H.H Dorje Chang Buddha III taught us: everyone knows to cultivate themselves in prosperity, the problem is how to deal with it in adversity? When you rise with money and power, or when you’re down and out with pain, can you remain the inner peace no matter how the circumstances change? This is a litmus test for me and my family.
    Taking Buddhism makes me realize that the process of impermanence is the truth. Our body will go bad, the wealth we have will dwindle, so are the house and car, now they’re just gone in advance. It’s all about causality. As long as we can make ends meet, nothing weighs more than life and death.
    No matter how rough life is, you must move forward, to make choices between the gain and loss and be strong in the experience. We will experience all kinds of hardships in the way of practice. Only if you want to extricate yourself from suffering do you truly cultivate yourself. To establish a mind determined to leave the cycle of reincarnation helps us leave suffering and obtain happiness in the end.

Though we are difficult in material condition, we have a rich spiritual life. We are lucky to have H.H Dorje Chang Buddha III imparting Buddha dharma in this world, we happily took refuge to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, and we listen and learn from the recorded Buddha dharma discourses with great joy. These can’t be bought with gold and silver.
    Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me. With the light of Buddhism, my family and I will walk down the path firmly. My son becomes mature after this setback. I believe the lesson is a supporting condition for his life.
     If we don’t study Buddhism and believe in causality, this disaster may push my family into a doomed vortex. Crying our eyes out, holding grudges, be in a violent rage, collapsed after the straits and trying to commit suicide? No, we don’t behave like that. We settle our debts in causality, and demand unpaid money from the first party through legal methods.
    Buddhism gives us wisdom and power to deal with everything reasonably and calmly. All negative karmic conditions and sufferings make me and my family to cherish Buddhism and the chance for incarnating as a human being, guiding us to the path of bodhi. I believe every struggle after the hardship is the chance to change fate.

How do I get out of this black vortex when I’ve lost my family fortune

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/25/how-do-i-get-out-of-this-black-vortex-when-ive-lost-my-family-fortune/

#DorjeChangBuddhaIII # HHDorjeChangBuddhaIII  #Cultivation #Buddhism#Buddhist#causality

Source: http://www.hzbi.us/?p=901

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

Don’t let everyday stresses and problems get you down to the point where you think the only relief is heavily drinking or some other drug-related solution. Not only will your so-called relief be temporary, it can also be harmful to your health, contribute to possible addiction, and leave you more incapable of dealing with stresses on your own the next time they occur. 

HERE ARE 8 WAYS TO SELF-SOOTH WITHOUT USING A MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCE

READ
Develop a reading habit and you will find that you look forward to your time with your latest book. While you are reading, let this be your time for yourself. Set aside whatever amount of time you can and devote it wholeheartedly to reading.

MEDITATION
Meditation has been practiced for countless centuries to relieve stress, anxiety, depression, to treat a variety of illnesses, to help during treatment for addictive behaviors, reduce high blood pressure, and alleviate pain and to relax. Practice meditating every day at a regular time, for a regular duration. Ultimately, your perspective will start to evolve and you will grow more able to choose your moods and reactions instead of them choosing you.

YOGA
No need to be a master practitioner or a contortionist to reap the benefits from yoga. Yoga can be described as a collection of spiritual techniques and practices that seek to integrate mind, body and spirit in the quest to achieve enlightenment or oneness with the universe.

Photo by Prasanth Inturi on Pexels.com

TAKE A HOT BATH
AH, the satisfaction of soaking in a hot bubble bath, one of the best natural ways to relax and unwind. Give it a try! Light a candle, dim the lights and bring your awareness to the breath. Deep inhales through the noise, exhales out the mouth. Try this for sets of 5. You’ll absolutely feel less anxiety and much more able to cope with the challenges of day to day life.

VOLUNTEER
There’s no question there are many deserving charities and organizations that can use help. Volunteer to help serve meals at homeless shelters, or give of your time to visit with senior citizens at assisted living centers. When you look outside yourself and your own problems and give of yourself, it’s a selfless form of generosity that rewards you with a sense of inner peace.

WALK IN NATURE
Walking in nature helps you to decompress, as it magically increases the bodies natural feel-good chemicals. Breathing in the fresh air, noticing the beauty, and listening to the sounds around you will no doubt elevate your mood, leaving you with a feeling of completion and relaxation. 

BECOME MORE SPIRITUAL
Spirituality is something that is actively pursued, cultivated, and nourished. You don’t need to be religious to reap the rewards of a heightened spirituality. You can develop your spirituality by looking inward and trying to improve your outlook on life. Becoming more spiritual will give you a new appreciation for life and how precious it is. You will be able to give more of yourself to others, and gain richness beyond measure in return.

MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST
Get into the habit of writing down 5 things you are grateful for every morning. Goodness has a way of spreading its way around. When you are positive in your outlook, and act in a manner that inspires others to do likewise, you are helping to lift others out of themselves and into a better appreciation of life.

Life is all about living. Let’s make this life the best we can for as long as we have. You won’t need drugs to help you relax. Living life to the fullest will be your gift — to you and to those you love. Namaste.

Photo by Nilina on Pexels.com

8 Ways To Self-Sooth Without Using a Mind Altering Substance

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/11/09/8-ways-to-self-sooth-without-using-a-mind-altering-substance/

#SelfSooth#Yoga#SPIRITUAL#VOLUNTEER#InnerPeace#WellnessHealth#Meditation

Source: https://www.beinghappybuddha.com

20 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Buddha

20 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Buddha

There are so many beautiful, powerful and life changing lessons you can learn from studying Buddhism and from reading many of Buddha’s quotes.

Here are 20 Life Changing Lessons from Buddha:

1. Love heals all things.
“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”

2. It’s not what you say but what you do that defines you.
“A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again; but if he is peaceful, loving and fearless then he is in truth called wise.”

“A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.”

3. The secret of good health is to live fully in the NOW.
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

4. Words have the power to both hurt and heal.
“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.”

5. Let it go and it will be yours forever.
“You only lose what you cling to.”

6. No one can walk your path for you.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

7. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

8. Be kind to all.
“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.”

“Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”

9. Don’t believe everything you are told to believe.
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

10. As you THINK so shall you be
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts. If a man speak or act with an evil thought, suffering follows him as the wheel follows the hoof of the beast that draws the wagon…. If a man speak or act with a good thought, happiness follows him like a shadow that never leaves him.”



11. Let go of fear.
“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”

12. The truth has a way of always leaking out.
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

13. Control your mind or it will control you.
“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.”

“It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.”

14. Doubt separates. Trust unites.
“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.”

15. Nobody is more deserving of your love than you yourself are.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

16. Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.
“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.”

17. Let go of attachment.
“To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one’s own in the midst of abundance.”

18. Choose your friends wisely.
“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.”

19. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
“There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.”

20. Love. Live. Let go.
“In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?”

20 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Buddha

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/10/28/20-life-changing-lessons-to-learn-from-buddha/

#Buddhism#Buddha#LifeChanging#LearnfromBuddha#Morallessons#Culture#CultureExchange

Source: https://www.beinghappybuddha.com/blogs/insights/20-life-changing-lessons-to-learn-from-buddha

I Was Truly Blessed by Guan Yin Bodhisattva

I Was Truly Blessed by Guan Yin Bodhisattva

My dharma name is Hua Yong. I am very grateful for having the good fortune to attend the Guan Yin Bodhisattva of Great Compassion Empowerment Dharma Assembly led by Dharma Master Ruo Hui.  Dharma Master Ruo Hui is Abbess of Hua Zang Si at San Francisco.

We started off by diligently reciting the Six-Character Great Bright Mantra. After a dozen of recitations, tears kept emerging as I kept reciting the Six-Character Great Bright Mantra. I did not know why I had tears, but it felt comforting and soothing. Minutes later, a bright white light shone towards my face, the light then transformed into a rainbow colored beam of light and eventually formed into a very large lotus flower of clouds. Immediately, I felt energy surging from the floor where I stood up through my entire body. My eyes were shut and I stood still as I felt my body very heavy. Sounds of a lion’s roar and footsteps were coming from the hallway People behind me started to pat their own bodies. Sister Hua Rui walked passed me while singing out loud. Qinbu Rinpoche joined in shortly after. Eventually, I started to recite “Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva.” Every syllable was dragged out loudly.

Suddenly, Sister Hua Rui began to deliver Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva’s message out loudly in Cantonese, “We are all destined to be here today. You have acted sinfully in your past lives. You must repent your actions!” I thought to myself, “Of course, of course.” I felt a moment of despair as I began to cry while reciting “Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva.” Moments later, all I could see was a red circle in the middle of darkness. This could possibly be the symbol of my karma, I thought. I immediately requested a blessing from the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to clear my karma, be diligent in my practice as well as bring my husband and daughter to practice Buddhism! After requesting this blessing, I began to sing even louder and more passionately. My arms naturally began to swing from side to side, however, both of my feet remained still.

Meanwhile, while Qinbu Rinpoche was singing, she came behind me and started to slap my shoulder all the way to my lower back. It felt very painful as I felt that Qinbu Rinpoche’s palms were very large, however, I continued to stay still and recite “Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva” out loudly and prolongly. Sounds of people crying, falling to the ground, slapping, people reciting the Six-Character Great Bright Mantra and “Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva” were being heard everywhere in the hall. Shortly after, I heard the master say “Stop”, but I kept going on. I did not know when, then Qinbu Rinpoche came behind me and slapped from my shoulder to my lower back again very intensely and I could not stop singing in a high pitch.   It was until the master came to me and tapped my head that I stopped.

It felt as if time flew by really quickly as if the Dharma assembly ended really quickly. However, I am sure I received an extraordinary amount of empowerment and blessings even though my body still felt heavy. After the Dharma assembly ended, a lot of sisters and brothers went up on stage to share their personal experiences. I also went up to the front, knelt on my floor with my palms together, and from the bottom of my heart, I shared my experience and expressed my utmost gratitude to H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva, and all other Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

Returning home, I found out that 10 years of pain and failed treatment on my right shoulder and spine has disappeared! Back then, because of my right shoulder pain, turning my head to the right was not possible. But now, I can do that without any problems! 10 years of pain has disappeared!

My most sincere and grateful thoughts to H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III!

My most sincere and grateful thoughts to Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva!

My most sincere and grateful thoughts to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas!

Buddhist Disciple Hua Yong (Yong Chiu Chen)

I Was Truly Blessed by Guan Yin Bodhisattva

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/09/15/i-was-truly-blessed-by-guan-yin-bodhisattva/

#HHDorjeChangBuddhaIII #DorjeChangBuddhaIII #DorjeChangBuddha#GuanYinBodhisattvaof GreatCompassionEmpowermentDharmaAssembly#GuanYinBodhisattva#GreatCompassion

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

The Five People You Meet in Heaven, by Mitch Albom, an enchanting, beautifully crafted novel that explores a mystery only heaven can unfold. It is a tale of a life on earth. It’s a tale of life beyond it. It’s a fable about love, a warning about war, and a nod of the cap to the real people of this world, the ones who never get their name in lights.

This book is about the meaning of life. What do we humans live for? Eddie, the protagonist, thought his life was meaningless during his lifetime. After his death, he met five people in heaven. These five people, known and unknown, all played a pivotal role in Eddie’s life. They taught Eddie the meaning and value of life. At last Eddie was relieved. The originally heavy soul also became lighter. Each of us is running towards death. Death is not scary. The scary thing is that we do not know how to live.

Eddie is a grizzled war veteran who feels trapped in a meaningless life of fixing rides at a seaside amusement park. As the park has changed over the years — from the Loop-the-Loop to the Pipeline Plunge — so, too, has Eddie changed, from optimistic youth to embittered old age. His days are a dull routine of work, loneliness, and regret.

Then, on his 83rd birthday, Eddie dies in a tragic accident, trying to save a little girl from a falling cart. With his final breath, he feels two small hands in his — and then nothing. He awakens in the afterlife, where he learns that heaven is not a lush Garden of Eden, but a place where your earthly life is explained to you by five people who were in it. These people may have been loved ones or distant strangers. Yet each of them changed your path forever.

Eddie arrives in Heaven, where he meets “the Blue Man.” The Blue Man explains that Eddie is about to journey through Heaven’s five levels, meeting someone who has had a significant impact upon his life or someone on whom his life had a significant impact. Eddie asks why the Blue Man is his first person, and he informs Eddie that, when Eddie was very young, he caused the car accident that killed him. From this, Eddie learns his first lesson: there are no random events in life and all individuals and experiences are connected in some way.

Eddie meets his former captain from the army, who reminds Eddie of their time together as prisoners of war in a forced labor camp in the Philippines. Their group burned the camp during their escape and Eddie, while running away, remembers seeing a shadow move in one of the huts. The Captain confesses that he shot Eddie in the leg to prevent Eddie from chasing the shadow into the fire. This saved Eddie’s life despite leaving him with a lifelong severe limp. Eddie then learns how the Captain died: he stepped on a land mine that would have killed all the men had he not set it off.

Eddie finds himself outside a diner, where he sees his father through a window. A well-dressed woman named Ruby appears and introduces herself to him. Ruby explains that Ruby Pier was named after her by her husband Emile, who built it in tribute to her. Ruby shows Eddie the true cause of his father’s death, which is different from what he had always believed. She tells Eddie that he needs to forgive his father.

Eddie meets his late wife, Marguerite. They remember their wedding, and Marguerite teaches Eddie that love is never lost in death; it just moves on and takes a different form.

Eddie awakens to see children playing along with a riverbed. A young Filipina girl named Tala comes up to him. Tala reveals that she was the little girl from the hut that Eddie set on fire. Distraught, Eddie breaks down both cursing and asking God “why?” Tala hands him a stone and asks him to “wash” her like the other children in the river are doing to one another. Eddie is puzzled, but dips the stone in the water and starts to scrape off the injuries he had inflicted on her. Tala’s wounds begin to clear until she is freed of all the scars. Eddie asks Tala if she knows if he was able to save the little girl before his death. Tala tells him he did manage to push her out of the way. In this way, Tala explains, he also managed to atone every day for her unnecessary death.

In the end, it shows that Eddie’s Heaven is the Stardust Band Shell, where he met Marguerite.

Photo by Mohit Suthar on Pexels.com

One by one, Eddie’s five people illuminate the unseen connections of his earthly life. As the story builds to its stunning conclusion, Eddie desperately seeks redemption in the still-unknown last act of his life: Was it a heroic success or a devastating failure? The answer, which comes from the most unlikely of sources, is as inspirational as a glimpse of heaven itself.

Reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven helped me understand deeper about the law of cause and effect in Buddhism teaching. We live in the web of reincarnation of life and death woven by our own karma. Each one of us is connected by the threads in this vast web. Our thoughts, words, and actions all have a small or big impacts to others near and far. What we humans need now is more love, respect, kindness and compassion, and less conflict, fighting and argument.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/09/11/the-five-people-you-meet-in-heaven/

#TheFivePeopleYouMeetinHeaven#Buddhism#LIfeafterDeath#Death#MitchAlbomKarma#Kindness#Love#Causeandeffect#lawofCauseandeffect

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_People_You_Meet_in_Heaven, https://www.mitchalbom.com/books/five-people-you-meet-in-heaven/

A True Story: 100,000 Prostrations by a One-Armed Person

A True Story: 100,000 Prostrations by a One-Armed Person who Learns and Practices the True Dharma of the Tathagata from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III

I was a factory worker in the past. In 1993, a co-worker had to go home to help plant his family’s wheat crop. His leave request was not approved by the shift leader. So, I went to cover him.

When looking at his work in the past, I thought I should be able to do it. In reality, it was not that simple. I was not skillful in operating the machine. The machine pulled my right hand in. When I dragged the arm out, I had no flesh in my hand and arm, only a long, bare bone left. 

The doctor at the hospital took a look and told me that I must have amputation. The upper arm bone was fractured; however, he could reconnect it back. 

When I slowly woke up from the surgery, I saw that my entire right arm…, my right arm was like, so short , only 5, 6 cm long.

Actually, the doctor had told me very clearly before the surgery that the amputation would only be limited to my hand. This is just not fair at all. I was furious. How could he be a doctor? What medical ethics did he have?

I cried my heart out at that time.  I got very upset. I did not even want to go out of my room. I got a room from the company. I didn’t go out at all and felt that it would be embarrassed to go out and see people. Why do I get such bad luck? 

I was depressed all day long and also could not get along with my wife. I would smash bowls or chopsticks whenever things didn’t go my way. That happened a lot. When I popped open a bottle of white wine, I would have a big, long gulp.  In one morning, I could almost finish a bottle with only a few drops left.  I buried myself in the alcohol at home.  Once I am drunk, I lose my temper. I almost had a mental breakdown and lost confidence in my life. 

It started out from doing a favor, to help out my co-worker. How did it make me to become a handicapped person?  How could such a thing happen to me? Even the hospital mistreated me in that way. The whole society did not treat me fairly. I also didn’t see justice from the Heavenly God…….

One day, my daughter told me: “Father, I will take you to a Buddhist center. Go learn Buddhism. Buddhism will be good for you, and for our family. Chant “Namo H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III!”

“What did you tell me to chant?” I said, “I have only heard about Amitabha Buddha. Why didn’t I know about H.H.  Dorje Chang Buddha III?”

Starting from that day, I would head to the Buddhist center and then listened to the Dharma discourses every day. I listened to the discourse on the Law of Cause and Effect. I listened to many pre-recorded dharma discourses, such as The Dharma to Cut Off the Twenty Worldly Emotions, etc. I listened to The Dharma to Cut Off the Twenty Worldly Emotionsa few more times. I also listened more times to the discourse on the Law of Cause and Effect. Eventually I understood that everything is a result of the Law of Cause and Effect.

I gradually realized that the loss of my right arm was not without a cause. Whether in my past lifetimes or in this lifetime, I have harmed so many living beings. This bit of suffering is what I deserve. When I took the lives of other living beings in the past, I caused them sufferings.

Through the learning, I slowly understood the truth about the Law of Cause and Effect. The hatred in my mind also gradually vanished.

 I then made a resolve.

100,000 Prostrations by a One-Armed Person who Learns and Practices the True Dharma of the Tathagata from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III.

Since I have learned and understood the truth of the Law of Cause and Effect, I will now repent to all the living beings I have killed or harmed. I will repent to them. With the utmost respect, in front of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, I will repent with my most pious heart. 

I will do 100,000 prostrations for repentance. In less than four months, I completed 100,000 prostrations. H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III told us, only cultivation can transform the Law of Cause and Effect. 

The retribution I am receiving right now is caused by what I have done in many lifetimes and eons ago. From now on, I will follow and learn from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III and cultivate myself.

As long as I plant good causes. I will definitely get good fruition in the future. I am determined to follow and learn from the Buddha and cultivate myself until I attain accomplishment.

A True Story: 100,000 Prostrations by a One-Armed Person who Learns and Practices the True Dharma of the Tathagata from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/08/19/a-true-story-100000-prostrations-by-a-one-armed-person-who-learns-and-practices-the-true-dharma-of-the-tathagata-from-h-h-dorje-chang-buddha-iii/

#HHDorjeChangBuddhaIII #DorjeChangBuddhaIII #DorjeChangBuddha

Amazing Power and Results of Practicing the True Buddha-Dharma

Green Tara Makes a Prediction to A German Buddhist Disciple

On April 16, 2013, Karolin (Shown here with her daughter Julie), the young wife of Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche of the Xuanfa Dharmazentrum (Dharma Center) in Cologne, Germany was diagnosed with a rare and very dangerous form of thyroid cancer that can very rapidly metastasize throughout the body and is often fatal.

The decision to operate was made very quickly and on April 18, she had both her thyroid and other cancerous and non-cancerous lymph nodes in her throat removed. One of the most famous doctors in this area in all of Germany performed the surgery.

Before the surgery Gongjue Tuji gave Karolin one red vajra pill that he had as well as a Black Jewel Medicine Pill (Kazhuo Ande Pill) he had received from his master, Zhaxi Zhuoma Rinpoche.

Gongjue Tuji called to tell Zhaxi Zhuoma Rinpochethat the surgery went well, but he really wanted to report something else that happened. He is a very devout practitioner of Green Tara. His wife has not been very interested in Buddhism, but has encouraged Gongjue in his practice. Gongjue was waiting while his wife received a CT scan to see if they were too late and the cancer had spread to any other parts of her body. He was practicing his Green Tara Dharma and visualizing Green Tara as he often does and dedicating any merit from his practice to Karolin. Suddenly Green Tara started moving around the mandala that he visualized. He saw Her dance and heard Her laugh heartily, and She told him not to worry, that his wife “would get a second chance.” That is exactly what he had been praying for and the CT scan came out clean. He was very emotional and happy about this. Zhaxi Zhuoma Rinpoche and he both wept with joy as he explained what happened. He was uncertain if he could tell his wife about this and not violate his precepts. His master told him he should tell her and not tell her and let his joy be witness to what he saw. He should tell her about how wonderful the true Buddha-dharma is, but not tell her anything about the practice itself except in general terms.

A few nights later, again while practicing the Green Tara dharma, Gongjue Tuji was told in a very excited way:  “Quick! Go and look outside. Go and look outside.” While he was moving the laundry drying rack in their living room in order to get to the door of the balcony, he was thinking to himself “Gongjue, you are becoming ridiculous,” but when he stepped outside on the balcony, he looked at the moon and there was a huge Buddha-light! Again he called his master to tell her that he was so joyous and happy that it was impossible to express his feelings in words, but he knew that Green Tara was giving her blessing. Two years earlier, Gongjue Tuji had taken a picture like the one shown in the slide show on the homepage of this website of the green being in the Buddha Light while he was visiting his master at the Xuanfa Institute in Sanger, California.

But this is not the end of the story. Zhaxi Zhuoma Rinpoche reported this matter to her Buddha Master, H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III and He laughed and said this was very good and that He already knew about the matter. When she told Gongjue Tuji of this she received the following with an update of a second surgery Karolin had to have as they did not get everything the first time.

The second surgery went well, too. Even the nuclear medicine specialist who transferred Karolin to the hospital assisted the professor during the second surgery, which is very unusual. But he wanted to be sure that the surgeons remove everything this time. They only removed 15 more lymph nodes and not 30 as I mentioned in an e-mail before. Three of these 15 have been malign, the biggest measuring about one inch. Unfortunately the diagnose was even worse after the second histological result.

Days later, Karolin had a doctor’s appointment with her nuclear medicine specialist to discuss the results. The doctor was not very happy with the new diagnose. Karolin asked him about the tumor marker but he had not received the blood results yet from the hospital so he called the hospital to inquire about it. A normal value for this specific marker should not be higher than 5 for a healthy person. Karolin’s value before the first operation was about 1,500 and after the first operation it was still about 500. When the doctor was talking to the hospital he couldn’t believe what they said and asked a second time. The tumor marker value is now below 2!!! At first he was speechless and didn’t know what to say. Both, Karolin and the doctor, where almost moved to tears. He said that’s sensational! He would have never expected such a result after that diagnose.

When Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche got the news from his wife he said: “I can not express how happy and how grateful I am towards all the Buddhas and the Boddhisattvas, especially to the Green Tara. This would have never resulted that way without all the blessings and the support of the Buddhas and the Bodhisattvas. I am also very grateful to everybody who supported us in their thoughts and sent their blessings. ” This is just another example of the amazing power and results of practicing the true Buddha-dharma.

Green Tara Makes a Prediction to A German Buddhist Disciple

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/07/20/amazing-power-and-results-of-practicing-the-true-buddha-dharma/

#DorjeChangBuddhaIII #HHDorjeChangBuddhaIII#DorjeChangBuddha#GreenTara#Buddhism#BuddhaMaster#Yidam#HolyVajrasanaTemple#VajraPill#XuanfaDharmazentrum

Source: https://xuanfa.net/news/green-tara-makes-a-prediction-to-german-student/

Experiences at Dharma Assembly at Holy Heavenly Lake Junn 2018

Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche’s Experiences at Dharma Assembly at Holy Heavenly Lake

Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche, who founded and leads the Xuanfa Dharmazentrum (Dharma Center) in Cologne, Germany received a powerful lesson from attending the June 2018 Dharma Assembly celebrating the birthday of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III. Below is his account of what happened.

When I heard that a very special dharma assembly was going to take place and everyone was encouraged to attend, I was very excited. Actually, I had already planned my trip for this year and booked the appropriate airline tickets. I originally wanted to visit the Holy Vajrasana Temple for a few days later in the year and read the preliminary translations of the Supreme and Unsurpassable Mahamudra of Liberation and Imparting the Absolute Truth through the Heart Sutra. My personal situation usually only allows me to travel to the USA once a year. Which made it a bit difficult for me in this case as it is always a cost issue.

Also, the date fell pretty close in the time we were supposed to move into our new home. All in all, it seemed as if it would not be possible for me to participate in this dharma assembly. But since it was said that everyone should do everything possible to attend, I knew that it had to be something special that I shouldn’t miss. Perhaps we would all be given a very special Dharma? I didn’t want to miss it under any circumstances. I was very sad at the time when the Holy Monk Yin Hai passed away and I was not able to attend one of the dharma assemblies to pay my last respects. This is a brief account of what I experienced when I travelled to the dharma assembly for celebrating the birthday of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III at Heavenly Lake, California.

Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche in Thailand.
Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche

So this time I had to do everything I could to make sure I didn’t miss this important event. Since 2009 I have been travelling regularly to the USA to learn and receive the true Buddha Dharma. So far everything has always worked out happily and I have never experienced anything negative on these trips. So this time it surely should work, too, although the signs were not good.

So I decided to discuss it with my wife. She is not a Buddhist, but she supports me a lot in being able to practice Buddhism. She wasn’t thrilled when I told her about it. The move was almost upon us and there was still so much to do. Also, we had a lot of expenses at that time with the purchase of the house, so our parents had to support us financially. In the end she agreed to let me go. But she only did it because she didn’t want to be blamed for me missing this important event.

So I booked another flight to California at short notice and was very happy that I was allowed to leave. Unfortunately, it turned out that the flight I had booked before for my trip to the Holy Vajrasana Temple could not be cancelled and I was left with the cost. I still got an affordable accommodation, but due to my limited budget, it was not in an all too nice neighborhood. Arriving there, the first doubts arose whether the decision to fly and leave my wife and daughter behind in the chaos of our move was right.

The next day was the day. The dharma assembly was about to begin. His Holliness, the Buddha came and rose up to the dharma rostrum. Now I should be compensated for everything. Deep down I hoped to get a great Dharma, something which was priceless. And so it was! It was just something completely different than I had expected. His Holliness, the Buddha began to give us a Dharma discourse about self-cultivation. At that moment I began to understand how stupid I really was. It became clear to me that even when searching for the Dharma, you can’t go beyond the principles of self-cultivation, which are to not let others suffer by putting your own interests first. I began to understand how terrible my wife was feeling at that moment when I left her alone at home with all the work and spent a lot of money that we could have used differently right now. I felt very bad and wanted to go home quickly.

Gongjue Tuji

When the Buddha finally announced that each participant should receive a special vajra pill, I was at least a little calmer. In the new house I will finally have my own Buddha room with a large altar and I will place this pill there as a “trophy”. So I thought.

From then on I focused on my journey home. All I had to do was check in and get to my plane in time and then everything would be fine again. At the motel I tried to check in online for my flight. But unfortunately the flight was already overbooked and I was not assigned a seat. If I didn’t get this plane anymore and was forced to take the next one, I wouldn’t make it to our move in time. I knew that my wife would not forgive me for this and would get divorced from me. And as if that wasn’t enough, I had also lost my robe. This has never happened to me before and it was not a good sign.

I was devastated and in a state of despair I beseeched my Yidam to help me in this situation. During the practice of my Yidam Dharma I was told not to worry as I would return home in time for the move. But due to my misconduct I have to bear the karmic consequences immediately. In addition, my Yidam explained to me that it is not about how great and big my altar is in my new Buddha room. The highest offering I should make to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas is correct cultivation. That’s the most important thing! I wouldn’t need to collect “trophies.”

I was deeply grateful and burst into tears. I found out afterwards, that I could book a Priority Seat by a further surcharge. In total, this was the most expensive flight I ever had. This was just karmic consequence. So I actually got home in time and from that point on focused even more on correct cultivation.

I had to promise my wife that I wouldn’t renovate and build the Buddha Room until I had finished everything else in the house. Meanwhile, the new Buddha Room is standing, and every time I enter it, I think back about the event and reflect on whether I have cultivated correctly so as not to enter the room without a real offering.

Namo H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III

Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche

Xuanfa Dharmazentrum

Köln (Cologne), GERMANY

WEBSITE (German): https://xuanfa-dharmazentrum.de

Email: kontakt@xuanfa-dharmazentrum.de

Gongjue Tuji Rinpoche’s Experiences at Dharma Assembly at Holy Heavenly Lake

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2022/07/20/experiences-at-dharma-assembly-at-holy-heavenly-lake-junn-2018/

#DorjeChangBuddhaIII #HHDorjeChangBuddhaIII#DorjeChangBuddha#HolyHeavenlyLake#DharmaAssembly#Buddhism#BuddhaMaster#Yidam#HolyVajrasanaTemple#VajraPill#XuanfaDharmazentrum