The Wisdom of the Empty Boat: Ancient Chinese Insight for Inner Peace

Chinese Painting by Henggong Yi

In the Mountain Tree chapter of the ancient Taoist classic Zhuangzi, there’s a simple yet profound story:

A man was crossing a river in a small boat when he noticed another boat drifting straight toward him. He shouted several times to warn the oncoming boat, but received no reply. Furious, he began cursing the other “reckless” person. But when the boats collided, he realized the other vessel was completely empty. In that moment, his anger vanished into thin air.

This story reveals a timeless truth: Often, what triggers our anger isn’t real harm but our judgment about the intention behind an event—our belief that someone shouldn’t have acted a certain way, or that people like that shouldn’t exist.

Imagine the same situation, but this time with a person steering the other boat. Most of us would react with outrage: “What’s wrong with you? Watch where you’re going!” A conflict would likely erupt. But when we know the boat is empty, we simply steer around it and move on.

This is beautifully explained in psychology by the ABC model:

  • A stands for the Activating event
  • B is our Belief about the event
  • C is the Consequence—our emotional response

It’s not the event itself that causes our reaction, but how we interpret it. Change your mindset, and your entire emotional response changes with it.

“The weak blame, the strong adjust, the wise let go.”
How you choose to interpret the world shapes the emotional and spiritual life you live.

Zhuangzi’s parable invites us to practice a mental shift: what if we saw others as “empty boats”? When a coworker unintentionally bumps into you, instead of assuming hostility, think, “Maybe they were just distracted.” When a friend speaks harshly, perhaps they’re struggling with something you don’t know. Instead of reacting with pain or revenge, consider that it may not have been personal.

Seeing others as “empty boats” helps us release resentment, practice compassion, and expand our emotional resilience. It allows us to heal ourselves faster, without getting trapped in cycles of blame and victimhood.

German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer once said:

“To be angry at someone’s behavior is as foolish as being angry at a rock blocking your path.”
True wisdom lies in seeing through the illusion of control, and responding with tolerance rather than judgment.

When life doesn’t go our way, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-pity: “Why is this happening to me?” But such thoughts only darken our mood and invite more misery.

The real shift happens when we stop blaming others and start examining our own mindset. By applying the “Empty Boat” perspective, we reduce conflict, soothe emotional storms, and gain a wider, calmer view of life. This isn’t just emotional regulation—it’s a deeper level of personal growth.

Zhuangzi also wrote:

“If a person can empty themselves and move through the world with humility, who can harm them?”

When we’re too attached to ego—too quick to feel offended, too focused on saving face—we inevitably clash with others. But if we release pride, prejudice, and the need to control, we become unshakable. No one can truly hurt us when we no longer take things personally.

Our mindset is the foundation of how we face adversity. Approach life with a peaceful, open heart, and life will respond in kind. Let go of the need for constant validation. Don’t let others’ words disturb your inner calm.

The journey of life is like sailing through mist—we never know what lies ahead. Complaining or getting angry doesn’t change reality; it only slows us down. But when we practice acceptance and face life with serenity, we go farther, and with greater ease.

Imagine all the unpleasant people or events in your life as “empty boats.” Let go of resentment and emotional baggage. You’ll find that forgiveness is not weakness, but a deep, penetrating wisdom. No longer a slave to your emotions, you become the true master of your mind.

May you carry an empty and serene heart, navigating life’s storms with grace, and holding on to peace amid the noise of the world.

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2025/05/16/the-wisdom-of-the-empty-boat-ancient-chinese-insight-for-inner-peace/

What Science Can Learn From Religion

by David DeSteno Feb. 2, 2019

Hostility toward spiritual traditions may be hampering empirical inquiry. Science and religion seem to be getting ever more tribal in their mutual recriminations, at least among hard-line advocates. While fundamentalist faiths cast science as a misguided or even malicious source of information, polemicizing scientists argue that religion isn’t just wrong or meaningless but also dangerous.

I am no apologist for religion. As a psychologist, I believe that the scientific method provides the best tools with which to unlock the secrets of human nature. But after decades spent trying to understand how our minds work, I’ve begun to worry that the divide between religious and scientific communities might not only be stoking needless hostility; it might also be slowing the process of scientific discovery itself.

Religious traditions offer a rich store of ideas about what human beings are like and how they can satisfy their deepest moral and social needs. For thousands of years, people have turned to spiritual leaders and religious communities for guidance about how to conduct themselves, how to coexist with other people, how to live meaningful and fulfilled lives — and how to accomplish this in the face of the many obstacles to doing so. The biologist Richard Dawkins, a vocal critic of religion, has said that in listening to and debating theologians, he has “never heard them say anything of the smallest use.” Yet it is hubristic to assume that religious thinkers who have grappled for centuries with the workings of the human mind have never discovered anything of interest to scientists studying human behavior.

Just as ancient doesn’t always mean wise, it doesn’t always mean foolish. The only way to determine which is the case is to put an idea — a hypothesis — to an empirical test. In my own work, I have repeatedly done so. I have found that religious ideas about human behavior and how to influence it, though never worthy of blind embrace, are sometimes vindicated by scientific examination.

Consider the challenge of getting people to act in virtuous ways. Every religion has its tools for doing this. Meditation, for example, is a Buddhist technique created to reduce suffering and enhance ethical behavior. Research from my own and others’ labs confirms that it does just that, even when meditation is taught and performed in a completely secular context, leading research participants to exhibit greater compassion in the face of suffering and to forgo vengeance in the face of insult.

Another religious tool is ritual, often characterized by the rigid following of repetitive actions or by engagement with others in synchronous movement or song. Here, too, an emerging body of research shows that ritualistic actions, even when stripped from a religious context, produce effects on the mind ranging from increased self-control to greater feelings of affiliation and empathy.

Ritual can also play a part in strengthening beliefs. Research on cognitive dissonance has shown that publicly stating beliefs that we don’t initially endorse leads to a psychological tension that is often remedied by altering our beliefs and behaviors to match our public pronouncements. Thus the religious practice of repeatedly stating beliefs as part of prayers — as in the Catholic Mass — may enhance devotion to a creed.

What findings like these suggest is that religions offer techniques — or “spiritual technologies,” in the words of Krista Tippett, the host of the radio show “On Being” — that help people endure difficulties, change their views or move them toward action. These techniques seem to work by nudging our behavior subconsciously. Ms. Tippett stresses that the specific religious traditions from which such techniques are borrowed should be understood and honored on their own terms. But when I spoke with her recently, she also agreed that the techniques might work even when separated from their religious trappings, as meditation and elements of ritual have been shown to do.

If this view is right, religion can offer tools to bolster secular interventions of many types, such as combating addiction, increasing exercise, saving money and encouraging people to help those in need. This possibility dovetails with a parallel body of research showing that by cultivating traditional religious virtues such as gratitude and kindness, people can also improve their ability to reach personal goals like financial and educational success.

When I broached this body of research with the cognitive scientist and religious skeptic Steven Pinker, he emphasized that it was by no means a vindication of religion as a whole. He made a point to differentiate between what he called religious practices and cultural practices, with religious ones being those more likely to have doubtful supernatural rationales (like using prayer to contact a deity for favors) and cultural ones having more practical justifications (like using ritual to foster connection and self-control).

While I can see Professor Pinker’s point — and I agree with him that religion as a whole must be judged by its full set of positive and negative effects — the dividing line between cultural and religious can be blurry. The Jewish practice of Shabbat, for instance, stems from a divine command for a day of rest and includes ritualistic actions and prayers. But it’s also a cultural practice in which people take time out from the daily grind to focus on family, friends and other things that matter more than work.

My purpose here isn’t to argue that religion is inherently good or bad. As with most social institutions, its value depends on the intentions of those using it. But even in cases where religion has been used to foment intergroup conflict, to justify invidious social hierarchies or to encourage the maintenance of false beliefs, studying how it manages to leverage the mechanisms of the mind to accomplish those nefarious goals can offer insights about ourselves — insights that could be used to understand and then combat such abuses in the future, whether perpetrated by religious or secular powers.

Science and religion do not need each other to function, but that doesn’t imply that they can’t benefit from each other. Rabbi Geoffrey Mitelman, the founding director of Sinai and Synapses, an organization that seeks to bridge the scientific and religious worlds, told me recently that science can help clergy better aid those they counsel by showing which types of social and behavioral practices are empirically most likely to foster their emotional, moral and spiritual goals.

A yearning for a science-religion synergy is growing in some circles. Ms. Tippett cites as an example the Formation Project, an initiative designed by a group of millennials who are looking to cultivate their inner lives and form a community by combining ideas from psychology and neuroscience with practices from ancient spiritual traditions.

In doing this, she points out, these young people are not blindly accepting any doctrine. They are asking questions and choosing what works based on evidence. In short, they are doing exactly what I think the communities of scientists and clergy need to do in a more rigorous way and on a much larger scale.

Will it work? That’s an empirical question. But if we choose not to investigate it, we’ll never know. And I suspect we’ll be the poorer for it.

What Science Can Learn From Religion

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2023/06/23/what-science-can-learn-from-religion/

#SpiritualTechnologies #Ritual# Religion#Empathy #Self-control #Science #Meditation #Doctrine #clergy

The First Sign of Civilization: Healing Broken Bones

In our quest to understand the origins of civilization, we often associate it with technological advancements, architectural marvels, or complex social structures. However, renowned anthropologist Margaret Mead presented a profound perspective on the matter. When asked about the first sign of civilization in a culture, Mead shared an unexpected answer that challenged conventional wisdom. She believed that the first evidence of civilization lies not in material objects but in the compassionate act of healing a broken femur.

In the animal kingdom, the inability to run, defend oneself, or access vital resources due to a broken leg can be a death sentence. Animals, being driven primarily by instinct, have limited capacity for compassion and assistance. Consequently, when a leg is fractured, survival becomes nearly impossible. Mead’s contrasting observation highlights the crucial distinction between human and animal behavior.

When a human being sustains a broken femur, the healing process takes time, care, and attention. It is during this period that the true essence of civilization emerges. The act of staying with the injured person, binding their wound, providing support, and ensuring their safety exemplifies the depth of human compassion and the development of a nurturing society. It is in these moments that the potential for humanity’s collective progress is realized.

Photo by Sarwer e Kainat Welfare on Pexels.com

Empathy lies at the core of our ability to serve others. It is our capacity to understand and share the feelings of another that allows us to extend a helping hand. Mead’s observation reminds us of the inherent empathy ingrained within our species. When we see someone in pain, our natural inclination is to offer assistance, whether through physical aid, emotional support, or simply being present. It is through the act of serving others that we tap into our highest human potential.

Acts of service have far-reaching consequences beyond the immediate impact on the individual being helped. When we extend kindness and support to others, we inspire a chain reaction of goodwill and compassion. Small acts of service can ignite a spark within others, motivating them to pay it forward. This ripple effect spreads throughout communities, strengthening social bonds and fostering a collective spirit of unity and care.

In Mead’s view, civilization begins with the act of helping someone through difficulty. It is through these acts of kindness, empathy, and service that we create a society marked by progress and interconnectedness. Civilization is not solely defined by technological advancements or material achievements but rather by the quality of human relationships and our commitment to supporting one another.

Margaret Mead’s perspective on the first sign of civilization challenges conventional notions and invites us to reflect on our values as a society. True civilization is not measured solely by material progress, but by our capacity to care for and uplift one another. By embracing our innate empathy and engaging in acts of service, we foster a civilization rooted in compassion, unity, and collective growth. Let us remember that we are at our best when we serve others, and through our actions, we can shape a more civilized and harmonious world.

The First Sign of Civilization: Healing Broken Bones

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2023/06/22/the-first-sign-of-civilization-healing-broken-bones/

#Anthropologist #MargaretMead #Civilization#Healing #BrokenBones #Empathy #Help#Compassion