Plato and Socrates on Love, Marriage, and Happiness: Timeless Lessons for Life

What is love?
What is marriage?
What is happiness?

These are questions that have echoed through time. The Greek philosopher Plato once asked his teacher Socrates these very questions. The answers he received were not in the form of lectures or definitions, but through simple, thought-provoking experiences that revealed profound truths about life.

What Is Love?

When Plato asked, “What exactly is love?” Socrates didn’t reply with words. Instead, he told Plato to walk through a wheat field and pick the biggest, fullest ear of wheat he could find. There was only one rule: he could pick only once, and he couldn’t turn back.

Plato returned empty-handed.

“I saw some very large and golden ears of wheat,” he explained, “but I kept thinking that there might be an even better one ahead, so I didn’t pick any. As I walked further, none of the wheat looked as good as what I had already passed. In the end, I walked out with nothing.”

Socrates smiled and said, “That is love. We often think something better lies ahead, so we pass by the one who may have been most right for us. And when we finally realize it, it’s too late to turn back.”

What Is Marriage?

Next, Plato asked, “Then what is marriage?”

Socrates responded, “Walk through the forest and cut down the biggest, strongest tree to use as a Christmas tree. Remember—you may only choose once, and you cannot turn back.”

This time, Plato returned with a tree that wasn’t the tallest or thickest, but still sturdy and pleasing.

When Socrates asked why he had picked it, Plato said, “I remembered the lesson from the wheat field. When I saw this tree and thought it was good enough, I cut it down. I was afraid that if I kept looking, I’d again end up with nothing. It may not be the best, but it’s mine—and I’m content with it.”

Socrates nodded and said, “That is marriage. It may not be perfect, but it’s real, reliable, and something you can walk through life with.”

What Is Happiness?

Finally, Plato asked, “What is happiness?”

Socrates told him to walk through a meadow and pick the most beautiful flower he could find, again under the same rule: choose only once, and no turning back.

After some time, Plato returned with a lovely flower in his hand.

Socrates asked, “Is this the most beautiful flower you saw?”

Plato answered with certainty: “When I saw this flower, I felt it was the most beautiful, so I picked it. Even though I saw other beautiful flowers later, I didn’t regret my choice. I stayed firm in my decision. This one, to me, is the most beautiful.”

Socrates smiled and said, “That is happiness. When you choose to see something as your happiness and cherish it, happiness is already yours.”


Through these three simple parables, Plato came to understand love, marriage, and happiness—not as things to chase endlessly, but as choices to recognize, embrace, and be content with.

  • Love is like the perfect ear of wheat you keep hoping to find ahead, only to realize—often too late—that what you passed by may have been the best match for you.
  • Marriage is like the tree that may not be flawless, but stands strong with you through the everyday winds and storms of life.
  • Happiness isn’t about always having the best. It’s about choosing something, valuing it, and finding contentment in it.

In a world driven by comparison, desire, and constant pursuit of “more,” true happiness arises when we stop looking outward and begin appreciating what we already have. When we make peace with our choices and nurture them with gratitude, we come to see: we already possess love, marriage, and happiness in their truest forms.

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2025/08/05/plato-and-socrates-on-love-marriage-and-happiness-timeless-lessons-for-life/

A Thanksgiving Reflection: Gratitude towards Our Parents

Embracing Filial Piety in a Modern World

In this season of gratitude, as we gather around tables adorned with festive feasts, it’s an opportune moment to reflect on the essence of filial piety, a cornerstone of Chinese culture. While tradition emphasizes putting parents first, the landscape of communication between generations has evolved, presenting new challenges.

In our pursuit of modernity, we often find a widening gap in understanding between parents and their children. This Thanksgiving, let’s draw inspiration from the timeless wisdom of Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher.

Once Socrates noticed that Lamprocles was increasingly irritable with Xanthippe, his mother. Recognizing the need for a heart-to-heart conversation, Socrates decided to employ the Socratic method to enhance his son’s relationship with her.

Socrates initiated the dialogue by asking Lamprocles about the meaning of the term “ungrateful.” Lamprocles responded, noting that someone is considered ungrateful if they fail to express gratitude despite being treated well. Establishing this as common ground, Socrates delved deeper, questioning whether ingratitude might be acceptable towards enemies but not friends. Lamprocles rejected this notion, asserting that regardless of friendship or enmity, gratitude should be shown to anyone who has done a favor.

Photo by Berendey_Ivanov / Andrey_Kobysnyn on Pexels.com

Socrates then redirected the conversation toward the unparalleled favor bestowed by parents on their children. Emphasizing the sacrifices parents make, he highlighted the physical and emotional burdens mothers endure, risking their lives during childbirth. Despite this, Lamprocles remained unconvinced, citing his mother’s temper as a significant obstacle.

Socrates posed an intriguing question, asking whether it’s harder to bear with a mother’s ferocity than that of a wild beast. Lamprocles, acknowledging his mother’s intense demeanor, struggled to reconcile her actions with the lack of physical harm. Socrates, steering the conversation, questioned whether Lamprocles had ever been injured by his mother physically, and when the answer was negative, Socrates emphasized the reciprocal nature of their relationship.

The dialogue took an unexpected turn when Socrates compared listening to Xanthippe’s words to actors in tragedies hurling insults at each other. Lamprocles, distinguishing between real intent and theatrical performance, argued that his mother’s words were not mere make-believe. Socrates, unveiling his true intent, reminded Lamprocles that, despite Xanthippe’s anger, it was not devoid of good intentions but rooted in her love for him.

Socrates emphasized Xanthippe’s continuous care for Lamprocles during sickness, her prayers for his well-being, and her genuine desire to help him. He concluded that, ultimately, it is not the sharpness of words but the true underlying intentions that should concern us. Lamprocles, acknowledging his mother’s positive intentions, found solace in understanding that her bluster was akin to the actors’ staged conflicts.

In this heartfelt conversation, Socrates guided his son towards appreciating the true essence of gratitude and the underlying intentions of his mother’s actions. This Thanksgiving, let us draw inspiration from this wisdom, cherishing the imperfect yet unwavering love of our parents.

A Thanksgiving Reflection: Gratitude towards Our Parents

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2023/11/17/a-thanksgiving-reflection-be-grateful-to-your-parents/

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Source: https://donaldrobertson.name/2018/03/30/parenting-what-socrates-said/