Tag: gratitude

The Mirror of the Heart: A Lesson from a Single Father

linda changLeave a comment

A single father had just lost his job. All day, he wandered the streets, clinging to the hope that he might find work. But as the sun set, he returned home empty-handed.

Defeated and exhausted, he stepped into a small tavern, spent his very last coin, and finally stumbled back to his modest home.

That evening, he discovered that his son’s grades had slipped. He didn’t say a word. Instead, he shot the boy a harsh glare before collapsing into bed without another thought.

The next morning, out of habit, he opened his diary and wrote:

March 7, Tuesday.
This is the worst day ever. Lost my job, out of money, no work to be found, and my son is a disappointment. A day of utter discouragement.

After his son left for school, he happened to notice the boy’s diary lying open on the table. Curious, he began to read:

March 6, Monday.
Today, on my way to school, I helped a blind man cross the street. I was so happy. My grades weren’t good this time. I told Dad, and he didn’t scold me. He looked at me with such deep affection. I felt so encouraged. I’m determined to study hard so I won’t let him down.

Affection? the father thought, bewildered. I was glaring at him in frustration. How could he have seen that as love?

He turned another page:

March 5, Sunday.
The old grandpa next door is playing the violin better and better. He’s so old but still practices so diligently. I really want to learn from him.

His heart sank as he flipped to his own entry from that same day:

March 5, Sunday.
That annoying old man next door is playing that wretched violin again. On my only day off, he won’t even let me sleep in peace. So hateful—I wish I could smash that stupid instrument.

In that moment, the father felt the weight of shame press him down onto the bed. He was in his fifties, yet his spirit had been broken by hardship—his mindset darker and more defeated than that of his young child.

He realized, with painful clarity, that he had been looking at life through a lens clouded by bitterness. And that lens had distorted everything.

Deeply remorseful, he resolved to learn from his son—to face every trial with acceptance and gratitude instead of resentment. He knew he could no longer wear the mask of anger while searching for work. No matter how difficult life became, he would choose a sunnier disposition.

And when your mindset changes, everything changes.

The very next day, he found a suitable job. He began to meet life’s challenges with a heart full of gratitude.

Life is like a mirror: when you smile at it, it smiles back. When you cry, it weeps with you.

The human heart is also a mirror, reflecting the world within us. It reveals whether we carry kindness or bitterness, whether we live in light or in darkness.

With a single thought, we can create heaven or hell. Everything depends on whether we imprison or liberate our own hearts.

In the end, we are the creators of our own destiny.

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2025/06/27/the-mirror-of-the-heart-a-lesson-from-a-single-father/

The Temple Way of Eating: Lessons in Gratitude, Simplicity, and Reducing Waste

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During a visit to Holy Vajrasana Temple, I encountered the beautiful and meaningful practice of Oryoki. Often translated as “just the right amount,” Oryoki is a ritualized way of serving and eating food that combines efficiency, mindfulness, and gratitude. Its roots trace back to the Buddha’s time, embodying the Middle Way of taking neither too much nor too little—an ethos that resonates deeply with the principles of simplicity and compassion.

What Is Oryoki?

Oryoki originated during the Tang Dynasty in China and later influenced practices such as the Japanese tea ceremony. It is widely practiced in Zen monasteries as a way to unify daily life with spiritual practice. The ritual involves a meticulous series of hand gestures, silence, and mindfulness during the meal.

Monks sit in meditation posture, waiting to offer their empty bowls to servers, who portion food to the requested amount. Every movement is intentional, every crumb is appreciated, and every element is designed to minimize waste. Even the water used to wash the bowls is partially consumed and the remainder returned to the earth, often to nourish the garden.

Simple and Balanced Eating

The meals at Holy Vajrasana Temple reflect the Oryoki tradition, featuring fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and tofu. With minimal spices or stimulants, these meals are designed to nourish the body while keeping the mind clear and alert. Every effort is made to include the five flavors—sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and umami—and the five colors—red, green, white, yellow or orange, and black, blue, or purple.

Chefs follow the principle of eating simply, allowing the natural flavors of ingredients to shine. Eating in silence encourages mindfulness, helping participants savor each bite and truly appreciate the food’s journey from soil to plate.

Lessons in Gratitude and Reducing Waste

One of the most profound lessons from Oryoki is its emphasis on gratitude and sustainability. The practice reminds us to take only what we need and waste nothing. Participants are encouraged to finish their meals completely, leaving no remnants.

This principle can extend to our daily lives, especially during the holiday season when overindulgence and waste are common. By being mindful of portion sizes, recycling food scraps, and making thoughtful purchasing decisions—like avoiding vegetables wrapped in plastic—we can honor the spirit of gratitude and reduce our environmental footprint.

A Holiday Reminder: Gratitude Over Excess

As the holiday season approaches, let us take inspiration from these temple traditions. Instead of overindulging, savor each meal with mindfulness and gratitude. Remember those around the world who face hunger daily, and let this awareness guide us to be more conscious and compassionate in our eating habits.

Wishing you a joyful, mindful, and healthy holiday season! Let us cherish the food on our plates, honor the hands that prepared it, and commit to a less wasteful, more compassionate way of living.

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2024/11/08/the-temple-way-of-eating-lessons-in-gratitude-simplicity-and-reducing-waste/

Source: https://tricycle.org/magazine/eating-just-right-amount/

The World Without Complaint: A Journey to Positivity and Gratitude

linda changLeave a comment

In a world often overshadowed by negativity, encountering a book that challenges us to break free from the habit of complaining is like a breath of fresh air. “The World Without Complaint” by Well Bowen offers an insightful perspective on the harmful effects of constant complaints and provides practical strategies for fostering a mindset of gratitude and positivity.

We read because we crave insight, resonance, guidance, and growth. Have you ever found yourself caught in a cycle of complaints about the world, life, family, friends, or even strangers? Today, let’s explore some notes from “The World Without Complaint.” This bestselling book has reached readers in 80 countries, urging us to consider how a single book and a simple wristband can transform us from habitual complainers into ambassadors of positivity.


The Marvel of the Wristband
Have you ever participated in a lunchtime gripe session with colleagues or friends, only to find that venting seems to worsen your stress? It’s as if complaining adds fuel to the fire of our worries. The truth is, many of us are oblivious to our own negative attitudes and behaviors. While others may perceive the negativity in our speech, we often fail to recognize it ourselves. But can we change? Absolutely! By wearing the No Complaining wristband and committing to a 21-day challenge, we can become more aware of our complaints, their frequency, and ultimately, how to stop them.

The Secret to a Dream Life
The tool: The No Complaining wristband (or any accessory that reminds you to stay positive, like a fitness tracker). The secret: Consistency. As you practice the 21-day challenge and swap the wristband between your hands, you’ll start paying closer attention to your words and actions. This seemingly insignificant wristband becomes a beacon, helping you identify and release negative emotions you may not have been aware of before.

How to Use the Wristband

  • Wear the wristband on one wrist to start your 21-day journey.
  • When you catch yourself complaining, criticizing, gossiping, or being sarcastic, switch the wristband to the other hand and start over. Each time you switch, you reset your 21-day journey.
  • Keep going.

The Key to Success

  • Move the wristband with each complaint.
  • Keep track of your progress.
  • Focus on your own wristband; don’t worry about others’.
  • Don’t outsmart yourself.

Unconscious Incompetence
Complaining not only distracts us from our true desires but can also harm our health and relationships. Changing just one percent of the world’s population can create a ripple effect of positivity that uplifts everyone. Complaints never attract what we desire; instead, they reinforce what we don’t want. Our thoughts shape our lives, so let’s be fully present, steadfast, and strive to be better versions of ourselves.

Conscious Competence

  • Smile, breathe, take it slow. Our words have power. Changing what we say can change our lives.
  • Criticism and sarcasm are rarely productive. Focus on constructive feedback and encouragement.
  • Plant seeds of positivity in your interactions. Inspire others by embodying the change you wish to see.
  • Transform your mindset from one of complaint to one of gratitude. Every moment is an opportunity to create the life you desire.

Unconscious Competence

  • Transform your tools and methods into personal logic and theory.
  • The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago. The second-best time is now. Believe in your ability to change, and the solutions to all your problems will follow.

Complaining is more than just a fleeting expression of dissatisfaction; it’s a habit that can poison our minds and relationships. Continuously focusing on what’s wrong or lacking in our lives not only perpetuates a cycle of negativity but also reinforces feelings of helplessness and victimhood. Complaining can strain our relationships, as constant negativity can push others away and create a toxic environment.

Moreover, the energy we invest in complaining could be better utilized to find solutions to our problems or to appreciate the blessings we already have. Dwelling on complaints keeps us stuck in a state of discontentment, hindering personal growth and preventing us from fully embracing life’s joys.

Training Yourself to Avoid Complaints
Breaking the habit of complaining requires conscious effort and dedication. Bowen’s book offers practical techniques and exercises to help readers rewire their brains and cultivate a more positive outlook. From mindfulness practices to gratitude journaling, the book provides actionable steps to shift our focus from complaints to appreciation.

One effective strategy is to practice mindfulness and become more aware of our thoughts and emotions. By recognizing the patterns of negativity that lead to complaints, we can interrupt the cycle and choose a more constructive response. Additionally, cultivating a habit of gratitude can help us reframe our perspective and find joy in even the smallest blessings.

The Benefits of Embracing Positivity
Choosing not to complain has numerous benefits that extend beyond our personal well-being. By adopting a positive mindset, we become more resilient in the face of challenges and better equipped to navigate life’s ups and downs. Our relationships thrive in an environment of positivity, fostering deeper connections and mutual support.

Furthermore, a world without complaints has the potential to spark positive change on a larger scale. Imagine if just one percent of the population committed to refraining from complaints— the ripple effects would be profound. Communities would be filled with kindness and compassion, and collective efforts toward solving problems would be more effective and harmonious.

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2024/03/15/the-world-without-complaint-a-journey-to-positivity-and-gratitude/

Six Powerful Habits That Will Change Your Life Forever

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Once upon a time, a young man was very much troubled by his bad habits. His life was completely disturbed due to his bad habits. He did not value his time at all. He would just waste the whole day on useless things. He was also very lazy and drowsy. Whenever his family members asked him to do some work, he would try to avoid that work by making excuses. And for some reason, if he had to do that work, he would do it in haste without any interest. Whenever his parents tried to teach him something, he would argue with them without admitting his mistake. He would always postpone important tasks and decisions for tomorrow and try to avoid all kinds of responsibilities. Slowly and slowly, when all his friends started outdoing him, he began to realize that his bad habits are now causing him to lag. He tried many times to improve his bad habits, but every time he failed in it. Then one day, one of his friends told him that a monk is staying in a hut outside the village for a few days. He suggested him to meet the monk for his problem. Although the young man did not believe, he still reached the monk to meet him the next day.

When he reached there, the monk was meditating with his eyes closed. The young man went in front of him and bowed to him. The monk opened his eyes and with a smile on his face, he asked the young man to sit. The young man told his problem to the monk and told him how he wanted to change his habits but he failed every time. The monk listened to the young man patiently. Then he thought for a moment and said, “My friend, you want to change your habits in a few days, but you must know that just as it takes a long time to form habits, similarly, it will take a long time to change those habits. For this, you have to give time and change your bad habits with good habits. For example, if you want to leave the habit of lying, then you will have to adopt the habit of telling the truth first.” Then the monk became serious and said, “Son, today I will tell you about six such habits which will not only change your old habits but can also change your life.”

The first habit to adopt is reading books. Books contain answers to the questions that arise in your mind. Many people before you have had the same questions and have written down their answers in books. By reading books, you can gain knowledge and learn from the experiences of others.

It’s a way to discover your shortcomings and develop new and positive thoughts that will help you progress in life. Successful people often have the habit of reading books, so start reading today to bring about a miraculous change in your life.

The second habit recommended is writing. While reading books is a great way to gain knowledge, it’s easy to forget what you’ve learned. Writing down valuable information helps you retain and implement what you’ve learned. It also allows you to connect with your inner self, focus your mind, solidify your thoughts, and generate new ideas. Writing down your goals and keeping them visible can inspire you to work towards them.

The third habit is meditation, described as a solution for mental problems. Often, our troubles stem from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Meditation brings you to the present moment, reducing the flow of thoughts, calming your mind, and preventing overthinking. Regular meditation enhances your focus, reduces stress, and keeps your mind healthy.

Expressing gratitude for what you have is the fourth recommended habit. By focusing on what you have instead of what you lack, you can fill your life with happiness. Even during difficult times, taking a moment to appreciate what is going well can keep you content. Expressing gratitude reminds you of the abundance in your life and fosters a positive outlook.

The fifth habit is waking up early. This habit is common among successful individuals. Rising early makes you feel refreshed, happier, and more energetic. Mornings offer a peaceful environment with fewer distractions, enabling better concentration on work, studies, or activities such as yoga, meditation, exercise, or a morning walk. Waking up early reduces stress, anger, and fosters an optimistic and positive attitude.

The sixth habit is self-discipline. It involves creating a daily routine that promotes punctuality and hard work. Discipline contributes to present happiness and a promising future. It forms habits that shape your identity. Examples of disciplines include waking up early, consistent meditation, reading good books, consuming healthy food, avoiding junk food, exercising regularly, and practicing breathing exercises.

By adopting these six habits, your life can experience miraculous changes. Just as the young man who listened to the monk’s advice, make a promise to yourself to incorporate these habits into your life. If you want to bring positive change and progress towards your goals, start adopting these habits today. You will witness improvement and transformation in your life.

Six Powerful Habits That Will Change Your Life Forever

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2023/07/14/six-powerful-habits-that-will-change-your-life-forever/

#Self-discipline #ReadingBooks#Meditation #Gratful #Writing #Monk #Buddhism #Gratitude

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUmL0zSV4Fw

Everything is the Best Arrangement

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Photo by Benjamin Suter on Pexels.com

A Lesson in Patience and Gratitude

Life has a way of presenting us with unexpected situations, challenging our beliefs and testing our patience. In a world where instant gratification is often sought after, we sometimes forget the value of patience and the wisdom of waiting for life’s answers. A thought-provoking encounter between a traveler and an old lady by the river teaches us the importance of embracing life’s mysteries and being grateful for every experience.

Imagine a tired traveler standing beside a vast river, witnessing an old lady desperately in need of help to cross. Overcoming his own exhaustion, the traveler selflessly aids her in crossing the river. However, his act of kindness is met with disappointment when the old lady hurriedly departs without expressing gratitude. Regret fills the traveler’s heart, and he questions the worth of his effort without a simple “thank you.”

Hours later, just as the traveler’s energy reaches its lowest point, a young man catches up to him. To the traveler’s surprise, the young man expresses gratitude for helping his grandmother and presents him with dried food and a horse as tokens of appreciation. The traveler realizes that the old lady’s departure was not an act of ingratitude but a testament to the unpredictability of life’s unfolding. Sometimes, the answers we seek are not immediate; we must wait patiently to hear the echoes of our actions.

Life is often compared to a tapestry, woven with threads of joy and sorrow, success and failure. Similarly, the years are likened to giant trees, and life itself is the little birds that fly in and out. Adversity may cause our dreams and achievements to fade like bubbles, but in those moments of despair, we must shift our perspective. By embracing the belief that “everything is the best arrangement,” we can find solace and trust in life’s unfolding mysteries.

When faced with the bitter winds and rains of life, it may seem unbearable to our hearts. However, if we persevere and patiently wait, life will reward our efforts. Good times may not immediately emerge, but with steadfast dedication, they will gradually find their way to us. Life’s returns are not always immediate, but by staying hopeful and diligent, we open ourselves to the possibility of unforeseen surprises and positive transformations.

Instead of becoming upset or frustrated with life’s twists and turns, let us cast our eyes towards the horizon of life. Let us resist the urge to resort to self-pity or blame, and instead, cultivate gratitude for every encounter and experience. By maintaining an optimistic outlook, striving for personal growth, and believing in the inherent goodness of the universe, we create a space for blessings to manifest.

Life’s journey is filled with unpredictable encounters, and not all answers are readily available to us. Through the tale of the traveler and the old lady, we are reminded of the power of patience and the importance of gratitude. Remember, “everything is the best arrangement.” By embracing this belief, staying hopeful, and expressing gratitude for life’s encounters, we can navigate the twists and turns with a sense of peace and contentment. So let us be grateful for the wisdom gained from reading this article and cherish the beauty of life’s unfolding mysteries.

A Lesson in Patience and Gratitude

Link:https://peacelilysite.com/2023/06/02/everything-is-the-best-arrangement/

#Patience #Gratitude #Journey #unpredictableEncounters #Wisdom #BestArrangement #Traveler

What Gratitude Journaling Taught Me About Happiness

linda changLeave a comment

It's easy to focus on the negative aspects of life, but gratitude journaling can change your perspective.

What Gratitude Journaling Taught Me About Happiness

By Lillian Fallon

“You cannot have happiness without gratitude.”

I heard these words in a homily years ago and have struggled to put them into practice ever since. I’m the type of person to lay awake in bed at night planning my next step in life, ruminating over different career advancing tactics, and fantasizing about the future I want. I tend to reflect more on things I want than the things I already have.

The idea of keeping a gratitude journal for a month was like partaking in an intriguing experiment. I wondered if I’d finally experience the elusive gratitude = happiness equation I hadn’t solved yet.

So on the first of the month, I drafted up a little doc titled, “Gratitude Journal” in the notes app on my iPhone. Four weeks and 2,000 words later, I concluded my journey for gratitude. Here’s what happened.

During

“Oh crap, I gotta do this now so I don’t forget.” This is the thought that would come to me every night at 10 p.m. when my journal reminder went off. But what initially felt like a to-do task eventually became something I looked forward to, simply because I was constantly surprised by the things I was grateful for.

When I thought back on my day, I’d suddenly remember odd moments that brought me joy that I’d typically forget about. For example, during the first week of that month, I helped a designer prepare their collection for a runway show. While this was, of course, a big thing to be grateful for, my journal mostly consisted of smaller things from that week.

I was especially grateful for an authentic encounter I shared with a model. She was just very sincere and kind and I remember my heart being warmed by the genuine human connection we shared. When I was writing down the things I was grateful for, that encounter stood out to me more than anything. It made me realize that it’s more important to value the people I meet than the things I do.

At the end of the day, I’d find myself feeling the most gratitude for the human encounters I had. Whether it was chatting with a stranger on the train, listening to music all day in friend’s apartment, having a heart-to-heart with my sister on FaceTime, playing guitar with my neighbor, or sharing a meal with my aunt, my gratitude journal ended up being very people-centric.

The things I was grateful for during my nightly reflection began leaking into my day-to-day experience. Instead of later identifying moments of joy, I began thinking, “This is making me happy right now,” and I started embracing the feeling of happiness while it was happening. By taking a few moments every night to reflect on the things I was grateful for, I was conditioning myself to be more grateful 24/7.

Photo by Polina Sirotina on Pexels.com

After

Re-reading my gratitude journal allows me to be transported back to moments that were specifically positive. In life, it’s easy to just focus on the negative. Even when the good outweighs the bad, we remember the bad over everything. Because a gratitude journal quite literally only focuses us on the good, it made me reflect on the good that I experienced for a whole month, thus prompting a “hey, life ain’t that bad” moment.

Some things I straight up forgot about. Like one day I got distracted and walked too far, missed the block my train was on, and got lost. My wrong turned landed me on a street that held a Catholic church. The doors were wide open and warm light poured out. I took this as a sign to visit Jesus. It was such a cool, surprising moment, and I felt the call to visit Him in the tabernacle so strongly — but I somehow forgot it until re-reading my gratitude journal. Now I get to relive how cool that experience was.

Re-reading my journal also allowed me to connect some dots. Aside from the theme of valuing authentic human interaction, I noticed that the days I felt the most gratitude were days I wrote about the little things. I can’t tell you how many times I wrote down that I was grateful “for heat in winter,” or “for my comfy bed,” “for being friends with my neighbors,” or even more simply, “for feeling happy again.”

And there you have it, the gratitude = happiness equation. As I look through my journal now, the last days all repeat the same thing: gratitude for feeling happy. At the beginning of the month, I felt suffocated and limited by the very things that I was grateful for by the end of the month. I’ll admit that this was a big month for me internally — I was searching for direction and meaning. I believe I received it through lots of prayer and learning to be more grateful for all the things I jotted down at night.

I’ve realized that change doesn’t necessarily come from the big life events that happen to us — usually, it’s the smaller, internal events that build up over time until we’re transformed without realizing it. I think that’s what keeping a gratitude journal is all about: writing down the little things from each day, and then reflecting on how all those little things actually amount to big things.

Come to think of it, happiness doesn’t come from something big happening to you, either. Real happiness comes from making daily decisions to cherish the gifts you’ve been given, no matter how big or small. Having gratitude for the little things will slowly but surely build genuine joy.

Honestly, I wasn’t planning on keeping a gratitude journal after one month, but after reflecting on the impact it had on me after just four weeks, I think I’d better.

What Gratitude Journaling Taught Me About Happiness

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/12/20/what-gratitude-journaling-taught-me-about-happiness/

#Happiness#Grateful#Gratitude

Source: https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/how-gratitude-journaling-helps-with-happiness/

THE MOUSE MERCHANT [DILIGENCE AND GRATITUDE]

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4. THE MOUSE MERCHANT [DILIGENCE AND GRATITUDE]

Buddhist Tales for Young and Old, volume 1, Prince Goodspeaker, Stories 1-50

Once upon a time, an important adviser to a certain king was on his way to a meeting with the king and other advisers. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dead mouse by the roadside. He said to those who were with him. “Even from such small beginnings as this dead mouse, an energetic young fellow could build a fortune. If he worked hard and used his intelligence, he could start a business and support a wife and family.”

A passerby heard the remark. He knew this was a famous adviser to the king, so he decided to follow his words. He picked up the dead mouse by the tail and went off with it. As luck would have it, before he had gone even a block, a shopkeeper stopped him. He said, “My cat has been pestering me all morning. I’ll give you two copper coins for that mouse.” So it was done.

With the two copper coins, he bought sweet cakes, and waited by the side of the road with them and some water. As he expected, some people who picked flowers for making garlands were returning from work. Since they were all hungry and thirsty, they agreed to buy sweet cakes and water for the price of a bunch of flowers from each of them. In the evening, the man sold the flowers in the city. With some of the money he bought more sweet cakes and returned the next day to sell to the flower pickers.

This went on for a while, until one day there was a terrible storm, with heavy rains and high winds. While walking by the king’s pleasure garden, he saw that many branches had been blown off the trees and were lying all around. So he offered to the king’s gardener that he would clear it all away for him, if he could keep the branches. The lazy gardener quickly agreed.

The man found some children playing in a park across the street. They were glad to collect all the branches and brush at the entrance to the pleasure garden, for the price of just one sweet cake for each child.

Along came the king’s potter, who was always on the lookout for firewood for his glazing oven. When he saw the piles of wood the children had just collected, he paid the man a handsome price for it. He even threw into the bargain some of his pots.

Photo by ThuongDaiHua on Pexels.com

With his profits from selling the flowers and the firewood, the man opened up a refreshment shop. One day all the local grass mowers, who were on their way into town, stopped in his shop. He gave them free sweet cakes and drinks. They were surprised at his generosity and asked, “What can we do for you?” He said there was nothing for them to do now, but he would let them know in the future.

A week later, he heard that a horse dealer was coming to the city with 500 horses to sell. So he got in touch with the grass mowers and told each of them to give him a bundle of grass. He told them not to sell any grass to the horse dealer until he had sold his. In this way he got a very good price.

Time passed until one day, in his refreshment shop, some customers told him that a new ship from a foreign country had just anchored in the port. He saw this to be the opportunity he had been waiting for. He thought and thought until he came up with a good business plan.

First, he went to a jeweler friend of his and paid a low price for a very valuable gold ring, with a beautiful red ruby in it. He knew that the foreign ship was from a country that had no rubies of its own, where gold too was expensive. So he gave the wonderful ring to the captain of the ship as an advance on his commission. To earn this commission, the captain agreed to send all his passengers to him as a broker. He would then lead them to the best shops in the city. In turn, the man got the merchants to pay him a commission for sending customers to them.

Acting as a middle man in this way, after several ships came into port, the man became very rich. Being pleased with his success, he also remembered that it had all started with the words of the king’s wise adviser. So he decided to give him a gift of 100,000 gold coins. This was half his entire wealth. After making the proper arrangements, he met with the king’s adviser and gave him the gift, along with his humble thanks.

The adviser was amazed, and he asked, “How did you earn so much wealth to afford such a generous gift?” The man told him it had all started with the adviser’s own words not so long ago. They had led him to a dead mouse, a hungry cat, sweet cakes, bunches of flowers, storm damaged tree branches, children in the park, the king’s potter, a refreshment shop, grass for 500 horses, a golden ruby ring, good business contacts, and finally a large fortune.

Hearing all this, the royal adviser thought to himself, “It would not be good to lose the talents of such an energetic man. I too have much wealth, as well as my beloved only daughter. As this man is single, he deserves to marry her. Then he can inherit my wealth in addition to his own, and my daughter will be well cared for.”

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This all came to pass, and after the wise adviser died, the one who had followed his advice became the richest man in the city. The king appointed him to the adviser’s position. Throughout his remaining life, he generously gave his money for the happiness and well being of many people.

The moral is: With energy and ability, great wealth comes even from small beginnings.

4. The Mouse Merchant [Diligence and Gratitude]

Link: https://peacelilysite.com/2022/10/22/the-mouse-merchant-diligence-and-gratitude/

Source: INTERPRETER’S INTRODUCTION – BUDDHIST TALES FOR YOUNG AND OLD, VOLUME 1, STORIES 1-50

#Buddhisttalesforyoungandold #Buddhiststories #storiesforkids #moralstories #Buddha #Jatakastories #PansiyaPanasJataka #diligence #gratitude

Giving thanks can make you happier

linda chang1 Comment

Giving thanks can make you happier

Each holiday season comes with high expectations for a cozy and festive time of year. However, for many this time of year is tinged with sadness, anxiety, or depression. Certainly, major depression or a severe anxiety disorder benefits most from professional help. But what about those who just feel lost or overwhelmed or down at this time of year? Research (and common sense) suggests that one aspect of the Thanksgiving season can actually lift the spirits, and it’s built right into the holiday — being grateful.

The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways, gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, being grateful also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

People feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude). Regardless of the inherent or current level of someone’s gratitude, it’s a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further.

Research on gratitude

Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have done much of the research on gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics.

One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.

Another leading researcher in this field, Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tested the impact of various positive psychology interventions on 411 people, each compared with a control assignment of writing about early memories. When their week’s assignment was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been properly thanked for his or her kindness, participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in happiness scores. This impact was greater than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.

Of course, studies such as this one cannot prove cause and effect. But most of the studies published on this topic support an association between gratitude and an individual’s well-being.

Other studies have looked at how being grateful  can improve relationships. For example, a study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.

Managers who remember to say “thank you” to people who work for them may find that those employees feel motivated to work harder. Researchers at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania randomly divided university fund-raisers into two groups. One group made phone calls to solicit alumni donations in the same way they always had. The second group — assigned to work on a different day — received a pep talk from the director of annual giving, who told the fund-raisers she was grateful for their efforts. During the following week, the university employees who heard her message of gratitude made 50% more fund-raising calls than those who did not.

There are some notable exceptions to the generally positive results in research on gratitude. One study found that middle-aged divorced women who kept gratitude journals were no more satisfied with their lives than those who did not. Another study found that children and adolescents who wrote and delivered a thank-you letter to someone who made a difference in their lives may have made the other person happier — but did not improve their own well-being. This finding suggests that gratitude is an attainment associated with emotional maturity.

Ways to cultivate gratitude

Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier or thinking they can’t feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. And, although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice.

Here are some ways to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis.

Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter or email expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person’s impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.

Thank someone mentally. No time to write? It may help just to think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual.

Keep a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down or share with a loved one thoughts about the gifts you’ve received each day.

Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.

Pray. People who are religious can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.

Meditate. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as “peace”), it is also possible to focus on what you’re grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).

Link: https://wisdomtea.org/2022/01/19/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier/

https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier#:~:text=In%20positive%20psychology%20research%2C%20gratitude,adversity%2C%20and%20build%20strong%20relationships.