(Part Two: Entering the Door of the Dharma）
Around the end of year 2001, I received a set of six books written by Ah Wang Nuo Bu Pa Mu. I remembered that in the book True Stories About A Holy Monk, Dharma King Dorje Losang said that even though he was the level of a Dharma King, he still must seriously study Entering the Door of the Dharma written by Ah Wang Nuo Bu Pa Mu. He said, “It is not fundamental Buddhist book! I have learned and practiced the five great Vajra dharma groups, the Atiyoga Supreme Dharma and the Great Perfection Mind Essence Dharma over and over again. Only now do I understand how magnificent the Buddha dharma books of the Holy Mother are.”
So I started to read the book Entering the Door of the Dharma.
The first chapter was titled, “First talk about big or small Dharma, then discuss the wrong and right dharma”. This chapter was a warning bell to me. After all, the wish I had harbored in my heart was to learn a great dharma whereby I will become a Buddha in this very lifetime. I dreamed I could learn and practice the great Dharma, such as the Great Perfection (Dzogchen) of the Nyingma sect, the Mind Within Mind of the Kagyu sect, the Great Perfection of Wonderful Wisdom of the Sakya sect, the Kalachakra Vajra of the Geluk sect, and Zen meditation of the Zen sect of exoteric Buddhism, etc…. I wanted to jump to the highest level, quickly reach the liberation with nothing to fear or to suffer… my life will full of joy and good fortune…
What a naive and selfish Buddhism practitioner I was! I felt I was so foolish, wanting to build a tower on quicksand. Such a tower could not be built.
As I continued to read the book, I gained a lot of fundamental knowledge about buddhism. The buddhism theory is so deep and broad. One chapter is focused on “cause and effect”. Pa Mu said, “most of the disciples just know about cause and effect, but they didn’t understand what is cause and effect, therefore they do not truly believe in it. “ After reading this chapter, I pondered to myself seriously. Did I truly understand the law of causality, and did I truly believe in the law of causality? If I did, how come my mind still falls into so much confusions and chaos. I looked deeply in my mind, and found out I only believed in the causality when good things happened to me. When bad thing happened or I was very sick, I started to doubt about it, and complained why I deserved these sufferings and unfair treatments. I started to blame peoples around me, and began to wonder why Buddha ad Bodhisattva did not bless me.
I thought about my marriage relationship. I was always puzzled why my husband always blames me, yells and scolds me even for a small thing, but before we married he always tried to flatter and please me. From the law of causality, everything I experience right now were the results of the cause I have done in the past. Anything that happened must have a reason. I must have done a similar thing to my husband before. I started to change my attitude towards him. When he got mad at me, I would think, this is my opportunity to pay my debt back to him — continuing to argue with him wouldn’t do any good, except cause more tension and damage. It was really hard to do it at beginning, I needed to force myself to keep quiet and don’t talk back, don’t analyze what he is saying, focus on my inner peace, don’t get irritated by outside things…. After a while I gradually became more mentally freer and at ease.
From the book I learned that everything and all phenomena arise from causality, including of course the good and adversary karmic conditions between people. If we generate resentment or hatred or take harmful actions against the other side when subjected to bullying or unfair treatment, wouldn’t another evil cause be seeded, which we will have to pay for through suffering the malicious consequence?! Then, wouldn’t the vicious process continue forever without an end?! The only thing I could do is to repent all the evil causes I did in the past, and pay it back when encountering the situation without any complaints. I do not want to plant any evil causes anymore, since the law of causality never errs.
I was happy that I finally found the door of entering Dharma.
Written by Peace Lily