One time, Shakyamuni Buddha and King Prasenajit engaged in a profound and comprehensive discussion about love and compassion.
“Master Gautama,” King Prasenajit began, “some people say you taught them not to love. They argue that the more you advocate for love, the more pain and sorrow there is. Though I can discern a grain of truth in this, I’ve always harbored a bit of unease about that perspective. Life without love feels devoid of meaning. Please enlighten me on this matter.”
The Buddha regarded the King with kindness and responded, “Your Majesty, that’s an insightful question, one from which many can benefit. Love, indeed, manifests in various forms, each requiring careful examination. While love is indispensable in life, it must not be rooted in lust, obsession, or prejudice. There is another form of love urgently needed in life. This entails love and compassion, or great kindness and great compassion. What people commonly perceive as love is often confined to mutual affection among family members and citizens. However, such love, tethered to notions of ‘me’ and ‘mine,’ fosters attachment and separation.”
“People primarily yearn to love those within their immediate circle—parents, spouses, children, grandchildren, relatives, and fellow citizens,” he elaborated. “However, love imbued with partiality breeds bias, leading to indifference or discrimination toward those outside one’s circle. Attachment and separation, therefore, perpetuate suffering for oneself and others.”
“The love that humanity truly craves is one rooted in love and compassion,” the Buddha emphasized. “Great kindness and compassion extend universally to all beings, transcending distinctions of ‘mine’ and ‘not mine.’ Devoid of attachment, they bring about happiness and alleviate suffering.”
“In great kindness and compassion, there lies no trace of differentiation,” he concluded. “They serve as the path to liberation from distress.”
The King bowed his head in thought. “I have a family and a country to take care of,” he said. “If I don’t love my family and my country, how can I take care of them? Please clarify this for me.”
The Buddha reassured him, saying, “Of course, you should love your family and your people, but your love can extend beyond them. Your present limited love can be transformed into an all-embracing love, and the young people of this country will become your sons and daughters. This is the true meaning of compassion.”
The King asked again, “This is something that can actually be done, especially where you live. It’s much easier. What about young people in other countries?”
The Buddha replied, “Though they are not in your country, that doesn’t stop you from thinking about the youth of other countries, just as you treat your own children. You love your people; that’s no reason why you can’t love other people.”
The King said, “But when they’re not under my jurisdiction, how can I show my love for them?”
The Buddha looked at the King and spoke, “The prosperity and security of a nation should not be gained at the expense of the weakness and turmoil of other countries. Your Majesty, lasting peace relies on the cooperation of all nations moving towards the common good. Kaushambi Salo will remain safe if you strive for it. You do not wish for your young men to perish on the battlefield; therefore, you must aid in stabilizing other nations. For genuine peace, foreign and economic policies must be guided by compassion. While you prioritize the well-being of your own people, you must also extend love and care to neighboring kingdoms such as Magadha, Gashi, Vitiha, Shakya, and Khalil.”
The King exclaimed with enthusiasm, “Wonderful! This is profound! Your words deeply resonate with me. Surely, you possess true enlightenment! I promise to ponder your teachings diligently and understand their wisdom thoroughly. However, I have a simple question for you. General love, as you mentioned, often involves separation, desire, and attachment, leading to sorrow and misery. But how can one love without desire or attachment? How can I, for example, love my children without succumbing to worry and pain?”
“In the path of enlightenment, love cannot exist without understanding,” the Buddha continued. “Love is born out of understanding. You cannot truly love someone unless you know them. Couples who are unfamiliar with each other will struggle to foster love. Similarly, parents and children who lack understanding of each other will find it challenging to cultivate love. If you desire the happiness of the one you love, you must make an effort to comprehend their concerns and aspirations. True love stems from this understanding. Conversely, if you merely seek to impose your own desires onto them, disregarding their needs, it is not genuine love but rather a desire for control and self-gratification. When everyone experiences peace, happiness, and joy, you will also come to understand these states. This is the essence of love on the path of awareness.”
The King, profoundly touched, conveyed his gratitude, stating, “I am truly grateful for the profound wisdom you have shared with me. However, I still find myself grappling with a lingering question. You assert that love rooted in attachment leads to pain and turmoil, while compassionate love brings peace and happiness. Although I perceive compassionate love as altruistic and selfless, I still harbor concerns that it may entail suffering.”
“Compassion is indeed the fruit of understanding,” the Buddha replied. “To tread the path of awareness is to bear witness to the reality of life—a reality characterized by impermanence. In everything, there exists no eternal or individual self. One day, all of this will be behind us.”
“When one comprehends the impermanence of existence, their perspective becomes tranquil and harmonious,” he continued. “The presence of impermanence does not disturb their mind and body; hence, the poignant feeling induced by compassion is unparalleled in its bitterness. Yet, the anguish of compassion serves to fortify one’s resolve.”
Moved deeply by the teachings, the King of Persia realized that no spiritual teacher or Brahmin priest had ever succeeded in opening his heart to such profound understanding. He considered the presence of the Buddha as a divine blessing bestowed upon the country. Filled with reverence, he expressed his wish to become a disciple of the Buddha.
Source: Old Path White Clouds A life story of the Buddha by Thich Nhat Hanh
Peace LiLy 