Once, in a quiet monastery nestled in the hills, the Buddha sat before his disciples. The evening sun painted the sky in hues of gold and crimson, and the air was filled with a profound stillness, broken only by the occasional rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze. The monks, eager for wisdom, sat in reverence as the Buddha began to speak.
“Monks,” the Buddha said, “in this world, there are many who come and go in our lives. Some pass by like the wind, leaving no trace, while others remain, their presence felt deeply in our hearts. Among those who remain, there is a rare kind of person, a true friend, who is like a shelter from life’s storms, a beacon of light in the darkest of times. Such a friend is endowed with seven precious qualities, and these qualities are worth cultivating, for a friend like this is rare indeed.”
The monks listened attentively as the Buddha continued, “Which seven qualities are these? First, a true friend gives what is hard to give. He does not withhold generosity, even when it is difficult. Whether it be his time, his effort, or his possessions, he offers them freely, without hesitation. This kind of giving is rare, for many are willing to give when it is convenient, but few give when it costs them something.”
The Buddha paused, letting his words sink in, then added, “Second, he does what is hard to do. A true friend will go beyond his comfort zone for the sake of his companion. He will stand by you when others shy away, face challenges with you, and make sacrifices when needed, not for his own gain, but for the sake of friendship.”
The monks reflected on this as the Buddha continued, “Third, he endures what is hard to endure. Life is not always easy. There are times of joy, but also times of suffering and hardship. A true friend remains steadfast during the difficult times. He does not flee when the winds of adversity blow; instead, he endures alongside you, bearing the weight of the struggle as if it were his own.”
Then, the Buddha smiled softly and said, “Fourth, he reveals his secrets to you. Trust is the foundation of true friendship. A true friend does not hide behind a mask or shield himself with falsehoods. He shares his heart with you, revealing his vulnerabilities, knowing that in doing so, the bond of trust between you will grow ever stronger.”
“Fifth,” the Buddha continued, “he keeps your secrets. Just as he trusts you with his, so too does he honor your trust. He safeguards what you confide in him, never betraying your confidence, never allowing the winds of gossip to carry away what you have entrusted to him.”
The Buddha’s voice softened as he spoke of the sixth quality. “When misfortunes strike, he doesn’t abandon you. Life is unpredictable, and at times, suffering may come upon you like a sudden storm. A true friend does not turn his back on you in these moments. He stands beside you, offering support, comfort, and strength. He is like a tree with deep roots, unshaken by the winds of fate.”
Finally, the Buddha said, “The seventh quality is this: When you’re down and out, he doesn’t look down on you. In times of failure or disgrace, when the world seems to turn its back on you, a true friend remains by your side, never judging, never scorning. He sees you not for your misfortune, but for who you truly are. His respect for you does not waver, even when you are at your lowest.”
The monks, inspired by these words, bowed their heads in gratitude as the Buddha’s voice grew gentle. “Such a friend, endowed with these seven qualities, is a rare and precious gift. He gives what is beautiful yet hard to give, does what is hard to do, and endures the bitter words that life may bring. His heart is open to you, and he protects your heart in turn. In the darkest of times, he will not leave you, and even when you falter, his love for you does not falter.”
The Buddha paused for a moment, letting the weight of his words fill the air before continuing, “To cultivate such a friendship is a blessing for both parties. A friend like this is not just a companion but a guide, a mirror that reflects your virtues and helps you grow. Such a bond nurtures the spirit and brings peace to the heart. Therefore, monks, seek to be such a friend. Cultivate these seven qualities within yourself, and you will draw others of similar virtue to your side.”
The monks looked at one another with renewed purpose, understanding now that friendship was not a simple matter of convenience or shared interests but a profound practice of giving, endurance, and trust. The Buddha’s words had opened their hearts to the deeper meaning of companionship, and they resolved to embody the qualities of a true friend in their own lives.
And so, as the evening deepened and the stars began to appear in the sky, the monks rose, filled with a sense of peace. They knew that in cultivating these seven qualities, they would not only find true friends but would become true friends themselves—vessels of compassion and wisdom in a world often marked by fleeting connections.
The Buddha smiled as he watched them depart, knowing that the seeds of his teaching had taken root in their hearts, and that in time, they would bear the fruits of deep and enduring friendships, blessed with the seven qualities of a true friend.
Peace LiLy 